By Linda Lovejoy, M.A., L.M.H.C

Learn how to avoid being ensnared by the top 10 commonly held love myths.
1. Love conquers all.

Love does not conquer addictions, a violent temper, or sexual indiscretions. Beware of these fatal flaws and run as fast as you can. You’ll be glad you did. True love involves two healthy partners with lots of similarities and a ton of commitment.

2. If it is true love, you’ll know it the instant you meet that person.

There a lot of factors that contributes to a happy marriage. Dr. Neil Warren, author of Finding the Love of Your Life, suggests that there are 50 helpful marriage similarities. It would be impossible to evaluate all of these criteria in the first instant of meeting a new partner. Take your time! Enjoy the ride!

3. There is only one true love in the world for you.

At the time of this writing the world population is well over 6 billion and growing. Believing there is only ONE true love for you, could cause you to ignore some red flags in order to avoid the monumental task of finding your needle in a haystack. The good news is: there are many suitable partners for you.

4. Your soul mate will fulfill you in every way.

If you feel empty, desperate, and needy before a relationship, you’ll struggle with these same feelings after you are in a relationship. It is unfair to expect a partner to fulfill the needs you should be fulfilling yourself. Get yourself emotionally healthy. After all you make up 50% of the relationship’s health!

5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry, it must be love.

According to Diane Ackerman (1990), in A Natural History of Love, nature has provided a powerful glue to help a couple bond during the early stages of a relationship. While the initial chemical thrill of infatuation, can produce an amphetamine-like high. Be forewarned that the frenzy of being wildly infatuated is mercifully short. Allow enough time in a relationship to navigate beyond the dangerous waters of your built-in hormone factory, before making any rash life-long commitments.

6. A fun date, makes a great marriage partner.

Marrying a fun date that takes you to fancy restaurants, showers you with expensive gifts, and is a ton of fun, may backfire on you. These qualities that are assets in the dating arena, may become serious liabilities in a marriage partnership. Be sure your partner’s apparent wealth is not a figment of his credit card limit. Be sure that your fun loving, practical joker, and life of the party romantic interest has a responsible, serious side that is able to deal with the harsh realities of adult life.

7. A couple must be a mirror image of each other for a relationship to work.

While having a lot in common is a good thing, it is not important that you agree on everything. It is important that your requirements (your non-negotiables) do match, however. Other differences may actually provide an opportunity for you to grow as an individual and be a breath of fresh air to your life.

8. Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

Let’s face it. Even Mr. Wonderful or Miss Wonderful as the case may be, is bound to have an off day, or put their foot in their mouth. Making mistakes is a part of life. Having a partner who is humble enough to ask for forgiveness and make needed adjustments will add an element of resilience needed to weather the storms of life.

9. Love is a bed of roses.

Love can be the best of times or the worst of times. The thing that makes love last for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part is a commitment to love that special person under all circumstances. It is very important that you take the time necessary to be sure that in evaluating a potential partner that your requirements are met. Then choose to love them, even with their remaining idiosyncrasies or flaws.

10. True love feels good always.

True love means sometimes putting your partner’s needs above your own, for the benefit of the relationship as a whole. And that may require some sacrifices on your part. Sacrifices are uncomfortable and can be quite painful, but having a partner who you love and loves you is priceless.

About the Author

Life and Relationship Coach, Author, Speaker, Teleclass Leader, & Syndicated Columnist.

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