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Love Advice: Are You Frozen in Time?

By Jon Sim

Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay away from. In life, many of us has experienced going through a love relationship. Some are fortunate enough to have found the most perfect partner while some find it so heart-breaking and physically exhausting especially when failing in their very first love.

First love is always the sweetest but at the same time can be the most hurting. Most of us, whom had bad experience with our first love always find it very hard to fall in love again, sometimes even in getting back to life. Hopes and dreams were suddenly shattered. All of a sudden, life just seemed so meaningless. In worst-case scenario, extended to ending of one's life for some.

"Time can heal every wound", but how long does it takes? No one can tell you how long exactly, a long time is all they would say. Will the day ever come? That depends. The question is, even when you have healed that emotionally broken heart of yours, are you ready to accept a new relationship? Are you frozen in time? Some have totally lost that courage and faiths, holding themselves back even in a new relationship. Love is a game of chance, a game of uncertainty. You can never win if you are not willing to risk.

To forget about the bad experience or rather to escape from reality, most would try to divert their focus on achieving something else in life very commonly their career, indulging themselves in work becoming a "workaholic". They believe that they could lead a happy and fruitful life; be able to fare well without the existence of love.

Let's face the truth. Can one live without love? They might be insincere with themselves. Do you think they can really make it and be successful in life? Of course for some, but chances are, a no for most. Remember, life is a journey not a destination and that's same for love. To be successful in life one has to learn to graciously accept failure, to learn and to grow from failures. Be readied to face new challenges ahead of us. You shouldn't shut yourself out just for the reason of a failure in love.

Be it a path of love or the path of life, they are subconsciously building an obstacle ahead and the sad thing is they are too blinded by that unpleasant memories to even realize it. Without first clearing this obstacle, it's really going to be difficult for them to perform well and to be happy in life. Time will soon pass by and leave them with tons of regrets.

Love can be a pushing force or a hindering force. It all depends on how you see it, how you want things to be. Isn't it nice to have lots of wonderful memories than tons of regrets in your later life? We should get ourselves out of the past and be existed in the future.

Learn and grow from bad experience instead without getting yourself got frozen in time. I'm sure there were sweet memories from your past relationship, how you both first kissed; the first time both hold each other hand etc". But you must learn to accept that it is all from the past, a memory that was frozen back in time.

Love can be complicated yet it can be so simple. From time to time, we could eventually make it done by seeing things in its simpler form. Didn't you ever notice that a much simple-minded person is always happier than a smarter guy with high expectations? Because of his lighthearted character, he can accept things in its simpler form and is thus always readied to face challenges. You be surprised, sometimes it's such a person whom achieved more in life.

It goes the same way for love. Are you setting yourself too high an expectation unknowingly building an obstacle in your path of love? Well, I am not suggesting that having expectations is bad. But remember, no one in this world is perfect; you can't have the best of both worlds. Given between the world most beautiful girl with the evilest heart and a plain looking girl with the kindest soul, whom would you choose? Happiness is what you would have chosen I should believe? In life, you gain some you lose some.

Frozen back in time will lead us to compare between the past and the present, especially with our soul mates.

May I suggest, go for a little holiday trip; cast your works aside, and just enjoy yourself. Free your mind. In a psychological view, how your mind rest is not by just pure sleeping. It's how you make your mind sees, accepting new ideas, seeing things in a different way.

Here's a story of a friend living in Japan. Back in Japan, all the guys whom she met which including her dad were all of very traditional Japanese principle thinking. In Japan, men are usually ranked superiors, holding higher social status. There is little politeness in opening of doors and offering of seats for women. Generally, men are sat and served first. She had since totally given up on the idea of falling in love because in her mind, all guys behave that way. She was longing for a caring guy whom would set her as priority; respecting her decisions. But she knew the type of guy she dreamt of would never exist.

Then came an overseas job opportunity for her to be posted to United States. Given her independent character, she accepted the challenge. Over there, she met new people; made new friends. To her surprise, she realized that there were a lot of gentlemen. Gentlemen who would open door and offer seat for her. Well, you guessed it! She eventually found her ever-dreamed guy and went into a relationship. She has learned to open up herself and sees things in different ways, which she thought could never be found.

"Not all men in this world are bad", ladies?

Always Remember, there are still your parents, friends and others who care a lot about you. None of them would like to see you got frozen in time, been hurt. Don't keep everything to yourself. Talk to them, have a nice chat with them. You will feel much better. You be surprised, they have their own experiences to share with you especially your parents. They had been through a long way in their path of love. If they had given up on love, would you have even been here? You are the creation of their love.

God is fair to everyone. If you are willing to move on, you will find your answer one day. Well, the next boat to the land of great romance and opportunities is getting ready to sail off. Are you going to board it?
About the Author

Jon Sim Staff Writer Love Relationship Discussion Forum

Freelance Writer Monument of Eternal Memory

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