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Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?

By Terry Hernon MacDonald

You"ve been to the bars, you've answered the personals, you've maxed out your credit card on online dating services, and you still haven't met the right person. Or, you ended up dating a series of potential perfect matches, only to be disappointed. Why are your friends able to hook up, but you're always left high and dry? Have all the good single people slid off the Earth?

Listen, if you continually meet people who suddenly stop calling, who turn out to have some type of social tic like complaining incessantly or being terminally cheap, who never stop talking about themselves, who are incapable of telling the truth, then you have a problem. And the problem is you.

Yes, you.

If you want to attract a good, fun, and genuine person who will love you and make you happy, then you must love yourself and make yourself happy first. If you usually end up dating losers, you are clearly short in the self-love department. You see, according to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. So if you don't love yourself adequately, you will attract people who hurt or disappoint you. Always.

Think this is a bunch of hooey, do you? Well, give it a chance and your life will change. I want you to go to the bathroom right now, go to the mirror and look yourself in the eye, and say, "I approve of myself." Say, "I love myself unconditionally."

Oooh, doesn't that feel weird? Doesn't it feel creepy? Of course it does. Most of us haven't been raised to love and approve of ourselves. We have no problem at all looking in the mirror and telling ourselves that we're going bald or our stomachs aren't flat enough, though. Self-hatred is perfectly acceptable. Looking in the mirror and saying, "I approve of myself, and I love myself unconditionally is weird. And scary.

But I want you to keep it up. I want you to get behind the wheel of your car tomorrow, and instead of speed dialing some chum while you're flying down the parkway, say "I approve of myself out loud again and again and again. Say it one thousand times. Say it at home while you're doing the laundry. Say it when you're cooking dinner (or peeling it out of a paper bag).

After a couple of weeks, your subconscious will accept the fact that you truly love and approve of yourself. And guess what? You will attract better friends, better jobs, better circumstances, and yes, much better dates.

You will find that you attract people who are more reliable and less neurotic. "Good single people will seem to come out of the woodwork. You will not have to work so hard to get a second date or to maintain a relationship. People will want to be with you because you feel good about yourself.

Self-love attracts love like a magnet. Go for it.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the host of "Romance Talk with Terry," which airs Fridays at 4PM ET on Internet radio. Listeners can tune in at


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