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Just a Little Willingness to Love... By Rhoberta Shaler, PhD What is love? A ticklish sensation around the heart that can't be scratched? Something I earn when I do things right? Something I give to get something back? My definition is that love is a willingness to choose to see and respond to the best in another person, even when they are not experiencing or expressing it themselves at the moment. This gives you the opportunity to be loving, no matter what the other is doing! It also requires that you decide to give up petty (and not-so-petty) judgments of others and replace that with the willingness to see them in their best light. Quite a tall order! Now, how do you recognize love in your life? Do you have a well-defined way of recognizing love coming to you? Is it "it has to look, sound, feel like this or it isn't love"? Or, are you open to seeing, hearing and feeling love in many forms? You can miss a lot of love in your life if you have a narrow, restricting perception of which form is acceptable to you. How do you express love in your life? Familiar quotes worthy of bringing into application are "Work is love made visible." "Works, not words, are proof of love." and "Service is nothing more than love in work clothes." Consider your expressions of love. Do your words match your actions? Do you say you'll do something for another but "forget" regularly? Are you willing to match your walk with your talk? It seems to me to be a waste of energy to spend much valuable time talking about what I'm going to do, or what I think I should do, when I could be using that time for doing it! Love also looks a lot like time. When we say we love someone, or, for that matter, that we love to do something, the proof is often in the time we spend with the person or the time we spend doing the activity, isn't it? When I was seeing many couples in my counselling practice, I would often hear the pain as one partner expressed their loneliness, saying, "You do not spend time with me." The demonstration of love means spending time with those you say you love, doesn't it? We've all seen or heard stories about parents who were too busy and missed their children's childhoods. Regretting it later is not nearly as effective as doing it now! Remember, too, that you cannot give a gift you do not have. Be loving to yourself. Spend time with yourself. Know what you enjoy and do it! It is also important to have good communication skills so that you can communicate to others clearly when you think they are being unloving to you. I think it is unloving to allow others to be unloving to you. We are responsible for teaching people how to treat us! If you do not say anything, you are telling them it is all right with you. IMPORTANT: If love makes the world go round, we'd better do our bit because the world is turning at 2,000 miles per hour, and we'd get quite a jolt if it stopped. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, Motivational Keynote Speaker, Corporate TeamBuilder and Executive Coach from San Diego, CA, is the creator of The Consociate Way™: Promoting Performance & Peace in Your Workplace. Call Rhoberta at 1.877.728.6464 or email at RS@SpeakingAboutWork.com. Visit: http://www.SpeakingAboutWork.com for further information and free ezines. Print-friendly version

Hypnosis Downloads for Relationship Issues...

Fear of Commitment
Making a decision that will have an impact on the future - whether short-term or long-term - sometimes feels hard to do. But it is only by commiting to a course of action that life progresses and we are able to make the most of opportunities that come our way. The Fear of Commitment download will help you make decisions - including those concerning your relationships - more easily, without the anxiety that used to stop you commiting fully. Click here for more information...

Put the Spark Back Into Relationship
After a while the excitement and freshness can leave a relationship. Familiarity and the pressures of life can get in the way of the love you used to feel for one another. The 'Putting the Spark Back' download will help remind your unconscious mind of the excitement you used to feel. When you, or you and your partner use the session, those original feelings can come back powerfully, returning the fun and excitement and reminding you of why the two of you felt so attracted to one another in the first place. Click here for more information...

Get Over a Relationship
It can be difficult to stop thinking about your ex-partner, and the feelings of sadness and loss can be hard to deal with. This is of course natural for a time, but if you feel it has gone on for long enough, Getting Over a Relationship can help you calm those feelings down. The session will help you 'update' your unconscious mind so that you feel more like moving on. Click here for more information...

Overcoming Jealousy
Whether you are the jealous partner, or are on the receiving end, jealousy can devastate a relationship. 'Dealing with Jealousy' will help you get control back over the workings of your imagination so it stops feeding you images of the worst happening. Your partner will be astounded, (and probably overjoyed!) at the new relaxed, realistic you. Click here for more information...

Be More Independent
In any loving relationship, it is easy to become overly dependent on our partner; to the extent that their needs always override our own. In the short term, this can feel loving and often occurs in the early stages of a relationship; but if you become too 'absorbed' in your partner, the relationship and your own life inevitably suffer. Developing independence will help you strike that fine balance that allows true independence to improve relationships and strengthen the bonds between you. Click here for more information...

Banish Relationship Insecurity
Insecurity in relationships happens to everyone at some time, but when it is a constant visitor, life can become pretty difficult. Nagging thoughts about the other person, jealousy perhaps, pessimism about your long-term prospects with your partner - all these are common side effects. Download Banish Relationship Insecurity now and experience freedom from those old negative thoughts. Click here for more information...

Approaching Women
Many times you talk to other people without even thinking about it. If you are chatting to a member of your family, or a good friend, you are not worrying about 'sounding cool', or 'being funny'; you are simply talking! Using hypnosis, you can take this ability and transfer it to the 'chatting up women' situation. It's not like you need to learn something completely new; you just need access to your ability in that situation. That's why Approach Women with Confidence will quickly help you talk to women and feel confident. Click here for more information...

Meeting New People
When meeting new people you want to be yourself, but nerves get in the way. 'Being yourself' is a nice idea, but when you get anxious, it makes it extremely difficult. You become more self conscious and thinking about the other person becomes harder. Hypnosis can keep you calm and outwardly focused when meeting new people, which gives you the freedom to act normally and truly be yourself. Click here for more information...