Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library

Life after abuse, there is a rainbow

Women are ten times more likely than men to be victimized. Battered women have more than twice the health care needs and more costly than those who have never been battered. Women who were victimized as a child are more likely to attract men who are abusive or they are abusive themselves. Every day four women die in this country as a result of domestic violence. Every 9 seconds in the U.S. a woman is assaulted or beaten.

As a child of twelve I was a victim of child molestation. In a foster home, as a teen, I was physically abused. Seven years of my life, I endured physical, sexually, verbal abuse from an abuser. Finally escaping, I found myself attracted again to an abuser. Not looking for the warning signs, I spent nine more years of my life in another abusive relationship. I decided I wasn't going to let that happen again.

I was awakened on my birthday with my husband singing happy birthday to me. He whispered happy birthday in my ear.

Five years ago I met a man that was unlike any of the men I had ever been involved with. He intimidated me at first. I almost passed him by because I was afraid of getting into another abusive relationship. He told me stories and I questioned if they were true, I was so used to being lied to. Some how this man was different and I felt it was so right. He was laid back and didn't let much upset him.

We laughed and talked and it felt good. We wanted the same things in life happiness, loving each other, and working together to achieve those things. We had good communication. He told me the truth about everything even if he felt I wouldn't like it, he was honest. He was so none abusive in any way.

He encouraged me to do the things I wanted and not to do anything that I was uncomfortable with. He encouraged me to be myself and go after the things he knew I wanted. I now know the true meaning of love, and loving. With so many accomplishments in the past five years, I am a lucky person to have such a wonderful husband.

Watch for warning signs and steer away. Some of the signs to watch for are:

Intense jealousy of friends or family. Yelling shouting and intimidation. Controlling behavior and persistent put downs. Shows severe mood swings. Has poor self-image and blames others for problems. Unemployed. Shows cruelty to animals. Abuse of alcohol or other substances and other unexplained behavior.

It is so easy for women that have been in abusive relationships to attract men and be attracted to abusive men. Women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons.

Where will I go and how will I support myself? So emotional torn apart that nothing seems real and you can't think rational anymore. Mental abuse has left you at rock bottom. Fear that your partner will follow and stalk you. Fear of emotional damage to children. Not being able to find a job. Ties to home and belongings. Fear of the unknown.

Don't let yourself be a victim. Get help and get away from the abuse. There are safe homes and help lines for abuse victims. Have a happy ending like I have.

Phyllis Benton author of Living Nightmares of Abuse. Autobiography. Emotional story of abuse. Available when released at PublishAmerica, Amazon, B&N, and other on line book stores. ISBN# 1-4137-9156-5.

abuse victim and survivor, sexual, verbal, and physical, molestation, fear of unknown, life after abuse, accomplishments, goals
About the Author

Phyllis Benton was born in a small fishing harbor in Maine in 1952. As a child she wrote short stories but never thought about publishing any of them. At a later age she visited and lived in much of the United States. Leaving school at an early age, Phyllis went back to school and got her high school diploma in 2002. She then went on to college. While in college she wrote her book Living Nightmares of Abuse. Phyllis graduated from Mitchell Commun


Careers & Employment
Grief & Loss
Kids & Teens
Public Speaking
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search on an issue that interests or concerns you...

Trans4mind Training is the best thing we've ever done! It's a series of interactive video workshops covering the key challenges we all face in life - to help you achieve greater inner peace and true fulfillment.
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd