Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library


Dating Tip: Keep Him Interested!

"Why isn't she with you?" "She left." "Why?" "There were so many reasons." "There were not so many reasons. There was only one. You made yourself too available."

-From JOURNEY TO IXTLAN: THE LESSONS OF DON JUAN by Carlos Castaneda.

The characters in the above scenario are men, but women often make themselves too available in relationships, as well. The consequences are usually disastrous.

Hey, we tell ourselves, I like the guy. He might be the one! Can't let him slip through my fingers! So, we stay home and wedge the last bit of peanut butter from the jar for dinner. Can't run out for real food and risk missing his call!

When he does call, we move heaven and earth to hang out with him. So what if we had plans to go out with friends on Friday night? Cancel! So what if we had a dentist appointment when he called at the last minute about having football tickets. Cancel! Hey, these things aren't important, right?

Wrong!

When you cancel prior agreements to be with a guy, you're pretty much canceling your life. Deep down, you don't feel good about it (your friends and dentist don't feel good about it, either). You're also telling the guy that you can't live without him.

And that lowers your stock.

Let's turn the tables: Would you really want some a guy who cancels plans with his friends to be with you? Who calls you three times a day? Who treats you like you're his one and only shot at happiness?

No, you wouldn't. Regardless of his education, salary, sense of humor, and great looks, you'd stop respecting him. Any attraction you once felt for him would die a quick and sudden death.

You'd dump him and look for a guy who has a life.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't advocate playing games. If a man calls you, you answer the phone. If he leaves a message, you call him back. But if he calls you at 7:30PM on Friday to go to a football game on Saturday, I'd think twice about it.

In other words, don't let yourself be taken for granted.

My mother told me of a rule she had when she was dating: She'd never say yes to a date for a weekend unless the guy asked her before Thursday. She explained that a man would figure she didn't have much going on if she didn't have plans by then. When she told me this, I thought it sounded contrived and stupid. But, as in most things, it turns out she was right.

Remember this: Everybody, man or woman, likes to win a prize. Being available, but not too-available, makes you a prize.

As time goes on and your relationship with a guy becomes serious, it's important to keep up your hobbies, continue to see your friends, and do all the things that make you who you are --things that don't necessarily include him.

It makes you attractive. What's more, you'll like yourself more for it. Women who like themselves are especially desirable, sexy, and fun to be around.

Be that woman.

"Why isn't she with you?" "She left." "Why?" "There were so many reasons." "There were not so many reasons. There was only one. You made yourself too available."

-From JOURNEY TO IXTLAN: THE LESSONS OF DON JUAN by Carlos Castaneda.

The characters in this scenario are men, but women often make themselves too available in relationships, as well. The consequences are usually disastrous.

Hey, we tell ourselves, I like the guy. He might be the one! Can't let him slip through my fingers! So, we stay home and wedge the last bit of peanut butter from the jar for dinner. Can't run out for real food and risk missing his call!

When he does call, we move heaven and earth to hang out with him. So what if we had plans to go out with friends on Friday night? Cancel! So what if we had a dentist appointment when he called at the last minute about having football tickets. Cancel! Hey, these things aren't important, right?

Wrong!

When you cancel prior agreements to be with a guy, you're pretty much canceling your life. Deep down, you don't feel good about it (your friends and dentist don't feel good about it, either). You're also telling the guy that you can't live without him.

And that lowers your stock.

Let's turn the tables: Would you really want some a guy who cancels plans with his friends to be with you? Who calls you three times a day? Who treats you like you're his one and only shot at happiness?

No, you wouldn't. Regardless of his education, salary, sense of humor, and great looks, you'd stop respecting him. Any attraction you once felt for him would die a quick and sudden death.

You'd dump him and look for a guy who has a life.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't advocate playing games. If a man calls you, you answer the phone. If he leaves a message, you call him back. But if he calls you at 7:30PM on Friday to go to a football game on Saturday, I'd think twice about it.

In other words, don't let yourself be taken for granted.

My mother told me of a rule she had when she was dating: She'd never say yes to a date for a weekend unless the guy asked her before Thursday. She explained that a man would figure she didn't have much going on if she didn't have plans by then. When she told me this, I thought it sounded contrived and stupid. But, as in most things, it turns out she was right.

Remember this: Everybody, man or woman, likes to win a prize. Being available, but not too-available, makes you a prize.

As time goes on and your relationship with a guy becomes serious, it's important to keep up your hobbies, continue to see your friends, and do all the things that make you who you are --things that don't necessarily include him.

It makes you attractive. What's more, you'll like yourself more for it. Women who like themselves are especially desirable, sexy, and fun to be around.

Be that woman.

About The Author

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com.


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

Trans4mind Training is the best thing we've ever done! It's a series of interactive video workshops covering the key challenges we all face in life - to help you achieve greater inner peace and true fulfillment.
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd