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Dating And Self Confidence

Dating can be stressful and nerve wracking. You might feel like you are under a microscope and all your failures and faults are exposed in the open. But you can make things easier on yourself by boosting your confidence. You'll be much more attractive to any date when you exude self confidence plus you'll be able to enjoy yourself more and get much more out of the dating experience.

Since the whole point of dating is getting to know someone better, most people are nervous about making a good impression. Self doubts can creep in 'are you smart enough? Attractive enough? Successful enough? That coupled with the threat of rejection is enough to make anyone's confidence go south.

So how can you increase your confidence for your next date?

First off, don't blow the date all out of proportion. It is just a date 'one afternoon or evening. The rest of your life does not depend on it, although of course, you could be meeting your future spouse! Whether you are just looking for a fun night out or desperately trying to find Mr or Mrs right, it is best to just focus on the date itself. Take it for what it is and don't put a lot of pressure on the event. Enjoy the person you are on the date with and the meal, movie or whatever 'don't have any great expectations other than a fun date.

Go into the date thinking of yourself as a person that has a lot of confidence. We've all seen them, the person that sweeps into the room and turns heads even when they might not be the most attractive or best dressed. If you picture yourself as confident then you will act this way 'even when you don't really feel it.

You've heard it before but the best way to have confidence on a date is to be yourself. Don't try to impress your date by acting like someone you are not because you will not have the confidence to pull it off. If you hit it off with your date, you'll be glad you weren't pretending to be someone else as it will only be exposed later and could really much things up for you. Plus it just takes too much effort to pretend to be someone else and you won't be able to enjoy yourself as much. And anyway, why wouldn't your date like you for who you are?

If you feel insecure about yourself, focus on the other person. Become interested in their hobbies, likes dislikes and really think about what they have to say. When you put them in the spotlight it takes the spotlight off of you, plus you get to learn a lot about them. Ask questions and really hear the answers then ask more questions about the answers. Of course, you want to do this in a conversational way and not make your date feel like you are grilling them! While you don't want to talk just about yourself the whole time you also don't want to make it seem like you are avoiding answering their questions. When you do talk about yourself highlight your positive points.

Another way to take some of the pressure out of a date is to do something different instead of sitting at dinner and feeling insecure about coming up with 3 hours of conversation with someone you don't know. Find a common interest, perhaps hiking or bird watching and make that date to do that. This way you can talk about your experiences related to t his interest and it will take a lot of the pressure off as well as boost your self confidence as you will be talking about something you know a lot about!

The main thing when dating is to remember that you are a valuable and special person. Don't feel inferior to anyone and be confident 'this will help win you many friends and, maybe even that special someone!

About the author:

Lee Dobbins writes for Better Self where you can learn more about self help and self improvement. Visit www.better-self.com for more on h ow to acheive better self confidence.


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