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Dating Advice: Common Ground Yields Happy Marriages

How often do your married friends complain about husbands who spend weekends on the couch watching games? Did they not notice these guys were sports fanatics while they were dating? Did they think things would change after the wedding?

Life is fraught with ups and downs, so it's critical to marry someone you can have fun with, today and fifty years from now. Here's how you can find that person:

1. Write down a list of the things you like to do. Then do them. I have a theory that if all the singles who claim to enjoy long walks on the beach actually took long walks on the beach, they'd meet, get married, and the personal ad industry would collapse.

If you like to read, hang out in a bookstore. If the bookstore has a cafe, become a regular there. If you like beer and bands, grab a friend and get to know the faces at a neighborhood bar (take a cab; no drinking and driving, please).

Do what you like to do.

This technique worked for a good friend of mine. After discovering that his longtime girlfriend had been cheating on him, he left her. Then he gave himself time to mourn and moved on.

He had two hobbies, cooking and hiking. He enrolled in a cooking class and joined a hiking club, in the hopes of widening his social circle. After the cooking class ended, he invited his classmates to a party at his house and encouraged them to bring friends. Guess who showed up? A fun, attractive (and faithful!) woman who enjoys entertaining and good food as much as he does. They've been married three years now.

2. Write down a list of things you'd like to do but haven't gotten around to yet. Would you like to build a bookcase? Check out the list of classes at your local Home Depot. Want to learn how to fix your transmission? Take an auto repair course. Women are bound to meet men there. If you're bent on improving your money management skills, take a finance course. You'll likely meet smart, upwardly mobile people.

The key to attracting a husband who you can have fun with 10, 25, and 50 years from now is to do the things that make you happy today.

Then see who shows up.

About the Author

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams."


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