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Adult dating 'Friend or foe - your sex life and the Internet!

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Adult dating 'Friend or foe - your sex life and the Internet!

By Helen Smith

Word count 834

There was a time when finding a date, partner, lover or playmate online was frowned upon. It was for people who couldn't get a date any other way! Oh how things have changed - not only can you sign up to a site listing thousands of singles who match your height, size, location and taste in food - now you can choose your sex partners too.

Finding people on the net can be an isolating/sole activity but, once you've taken that deep breath and shrugged off the stigma attached to female sexual freedom, life can get very interesting!

Take the fetish scene; it's out there, sites for introduction or information, clubs for fun, support or full on parties, yearly events and awards, shops for all those outfits and toys to assist in your wildest fantasies. Whether you're into sexy undies, the power of domination or having your feet's yours for the taking. It's time to turn your man over and tell him how u like it...or come out to the world and grab the girl with the dog collar and lead her straight to your bedroom, love nest or dungeon!

So, where do you start what's the ethics, is it safe, what's the terminology?

Start at the beginning.

What are you looking for?

Straight sex - A specific fetish - Are you curious about them all - Do you want information before deciding - Do you want to meet in the flesh or chat online?

Be clear in your own head what you want, don't go at someone else's pace, set your own and only go as far and as fast as you want to.

Once you've found a site that interests you take advantage of the free trial offers. Use this time to send as many mails to other members as you can, the more you mail out the more will come back. Chat with lots of people not just the one person. And remember it's cool for women to make the first contact too!

Fill out your personal details. This is your opportunity to sell yourself. Tell people who you are, what you like, what you're looking for. If it's your first time or if you're new to the scene just say so. The members are into an alternative lifestyle; they're not an alien life form. And above all, be honest!

Put a picture on your profile. Make sure it's of you and only you! Not your favourite pet or you and your ex! And make sure it's an up to date one - nothing worse than when you get to meet someone and they look about 10 years older than the picture you've been dreaming over!

Don't feel obliged to answer every contact. Just because it's a site about sex doesn't mean anyone can say anything to you and you have to accept it. No matter what type of site or relationship the overriding word is 'consensual'. If you're not interested then don't reply. You wouldn't accept a drink, dance or advance from just anyone in a club and the same applies to introduction sites.

If there's something on a persons profile that you don't understand take a deep breath and ask then or look in the sites glossary. Or if you're just too shy for that do a search on the Internet!

Use the safety of the site to get to know the people you come in contact with before meeting them in person. If you do agree to meet in person meet in a public place and drive yourself.

Is it a scam I hear you ask? No, there are thousands of people out there looking to make new friends, find romance, find a sex partner that match their hopes, dreams and fantasies and it costs less per month than one night out on the town. And lets be honest, how often will you come across people from around the world that you can talk openly to from the moment you meet them about your inner most fantasies? Do remember though that online dating is a tool to help with what you are looking for but without your input it would be like sitting in the toilets at a party!

It doesn't matter what your age, size, hair colour or interests are. There are sites on the Internet to meet your need and budget. Whether it's music, fetish, sport, health or religion, there's a site for you. So what are you waiting for, get on there and have some fun.

Helen Smith

Copyright '2005 Helen Smith. This article is provided courtesy of This article may be freely published on any website, as long as the links are live, and this notice is left intact.

About the Author

Helen Smith is wenmaster to two sites, and


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