Do you feel like a follower instead of a leader? Would you like to gain more control of your life? Do people make many of your life decisions for you? Would you like to have pride and faith in your decision-making? If you answer "yes" to any of these then read on...

You do not have to be a leader of many to have a successful and fulfilling life, but you must at least be your own boss in life. A lot of people have a lot of advice or may even manipulate the decisions you make. Often they believe it is in your best interest. Sometimes it is to benefit themselves.

Usually when someone tries to influence a decision of yours, they take the stance of the decision which would benefit them if they were in your position. However they are not you! Something which may be right for them is not necessarily right for you.

It is always worth listening to the advice of others, as you can get some good solutions to use. However it is your life, your decision, and you who must face the consequences if things "go wrong" (not that anything is actually "wrong" - there is usually a lot of good that comes from any consequence, if we learn from our mistakes and spot other opportunities that arise as a result). Therefore, you should always make the decision yourself, especially if there are manipulators in your life. Do you think that innovators such as Edison, Einstein, Da Vinci or Mozart blindly followed others advice?

Many of us were conditioned in early life to surrender our power. Our parents, family, teachers, society, etc. often taught us to be followers rather than leaders. Do any of these rules look familiar?

Be quiet
Don't get too big for your boots
Be seen and not heard
Think of others before you think of yourself
Be happy with what you have got
Don't show off
Do as you are told
Don't be a know it all
Don't get too excited
Be modest
Do not answer back

These types of suggestions are typically bombarded into the brains of children for many years on a daily basis. Whilst the intention is usually constructive, they do not help in later life. They can leave some of us becoming dependent upon someone else's permission and opinions to lead us. Most people, for example, are too afraid to quit their job and start their own business; too afraid to ask their boss for a raise; too afraid to really "sell themselves" at job interviews; don't believe they can (or should be) great at anything. Great people like Nelson Mandella and Muhammed Ali were certainly not afraid to be great, be noticed, and make a difference.

Instead of those limiting viewpoints, how about adopting these instead:

Be ambitious
Don't be modest
Think big
Be noticed
Be enthusiastic about your ideas
Be proud of yourself
Have confidence in your abilities
Be brave
Do not apologise if you have done nothing wrong

There is a great person in each and every one of us. It can be unlocked by simply believing in ourselves, and having the courage to follow our ideas. What use to the world is a shrinking violet? Does the world really admire these types of people? Do you admire these people?

Let go of these limiting suggestions of the past and embrace these new more positive ways of being. Go for the things you want in life. Be seen. Be heard. Be proud. Be successful. You deserve it!

Jon Rhodes is a well respected clinical hypnotherapist who also runs a free hypnosis and meditation site. Visit now for many free resources.

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