Why We Fear Death
There may be a thousand reasons why we fear death, but most of all we fear death because we fear the unknown, and death is an unknown entity to most people. We fear that dying may be painful and we do not know what will happen to us at the point of death.
Some people fear death because they imagine the dying process to be very painful. Death is not painful. In fact, death is often very peaceful and silent even for those suffering from cancers or other terminal illness.
When the physical body is deteriorating day by day from a terminal illness, and pain arises from superficial wound such as bed sores, or deep pain such as bone or nerve pain, death may even be a welcome relief for the sufferer.
We need to distinguish the pain of the physical body from the process of dying. The dying process is a distinct process that is separate from the deterioration of the physical body. At the point of death, there is no pain.
What happens at death is the cessation of the breath and all other physiological functions of the physical body. The heart stops pumping and the blood circulation stops moving. The body stops generating heat, and thus progressively turns cold.
For those who believe that we are more than just a physical body, and that we are in fact spiritual beings, the dying process means much more than just physical death. Death is just a natural process that allows us to discard the physical body as we move into the spiritual realm.
Since our fear of death is due to the fact that we do not know or understand death, it makes sense to familiarise ourselves with it. The more we understand death, the less we fear it. We should therefore cultivate a friendship with death, and be totally familiar with it, just as we are familiar with our friends.
We can cultivate a friendship with death in three simple steps:
- Establish a link with God.
- Cultivate a habit of acceptance, instead of blame.
- Be a blessing to others.
Establish a Link with God
By establishing a link with God, we touch base with our own spirituality. God can be whatever you perceive God to be. For Christians, Muslims and Hindus, that may mean an omnipotent God. For Buddhists, it may mean the Buddha seed within. Atheists may have to come to term with their own spirituality.
Establishing a link with God means re-gaining your spirituality. It leads you closer to the spiritual aspect of yourself. Whether we accept it or not, we are more than just this physical body. When we die, we leave this physical body behind and only our spirituality continues on.
It is therefore essential for us to be familiar with our own spirituality. It is the only part of us that continues after death. This 'fact' is in accordance with all major religions.
Cultivate a Habit of Acceptance
It is funny how when good things come to us, we readily accept them as though we deserve them or we have worked hard for them, yet when calamities befall us we quickly look for an external source to blame.
This is especially so when misfortunes such as terminal illness befall us. We may blame God, and later blame ourselves or people around us. We should cultivate a habit of neutrality regardless of whether good or bad things come our way. Otherwise, we can become very bitter about life when negative things happened. Looking for someone or something to blame only serve to prolong our own suffering. Death is an enemy when we resist it, but the moment we accept it, it turns into an ally.
However, cultivating a habit of acceptance does not mean not doing anything to correct or improve our conditions. It does not mean, for example, that when we are diagnosed with a terminal illness we do nothing about it. It is only sensible to seek treatment, if it is available to us. On the other hand, it also means we must know and accept when curative treatment is no longer possible. We fear death only when we refuse to face it.
Unfortunately, there are unscrupulous people who would take advantage of our fear of death to sell their 'cure'. In my experience with the terminally ill, I have come across countless stories of dying people being duped into parting with their savings and properties in the hope of achieving a cure.
Be a Blessing to Others
This is our greatest and most reliable ally at the time of death. Knowing that we have been helpful to others and that we have tried to live a blameless life takes away the fear of death. If our life has been an honest one, free of any conscious intention to hurt any living beings, we have nothing to fear when death approaches. Our mind will be at peace, undisturbed.
On the other hand, those who lead selfish lives, and harm others to get little advantages for themselves, find themselves imprisoned in tiny, dark cells when they move to the other side.
Therefore, while we still can, we should give our best to the world and to people around us. Lend a helping hand to others and help to lighten their loads. Bring joy to the joyless and comfort to those in need of comfort. There are many who are less fortunate than us. Count our blessings and be a blessing to others.
Copyright © 2006 Dr Tim Ong
Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor and hospice volunteer. He is also the author of "From Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey" - a book that explores our hidden fears and how we can overcome them. Dr. Ong shares his personal experience as well as relates stories and lessons from his patients. You can get a copy of his ebook here:
From Fear to Love.
My review: At each junction there are two ways we can go in life: the way of Love and its components - empathy, trust, certainty, confidence, understanding. Or, the way of Fear and its components - lies, refusal to understand, harmful acts, withheld communication. This corresponds to those archetypes: forces of the light and forces of the dark. Much of our upbringing is dominated by the basic survival needs and the fear of their lack. But to achieve our highest need, for self-realization, we need to align ourselves toward the light. Tim Ong's book, 'From Fear to Love,' is a wonderful guide, both to understanding our situation and to transcending it, so that we can truly live our lives in the light of Love.
You'll find the Cultivate Life! Podcast at LearnOutLoud.com - your one-stop destination for audio and video learning. Browse over 15,000 educational audio books, MP3 downloads, podcasts, and videos. |
Daring to be Yourself
The aim of the new book, Daring to be Yourself by Peter Shepherd, is to help you achieve a 'wide-awake' state of consciousness, with integrated use of left and right brain abilities, forming the bedrock for breakthroughs in personal consciousness and spiritual insight. The practice is based on the premise that we have learned disabilities which set boundaries to our action and knowing. But no one need accept that they must remain as they were shaped by their hereditary body-mind and by the conditioning of their childhood and culture.
This 264-page paperback book is like a "best of" Trans4mind - that you can read snuggled up on the sofa, away from the computer! But much more than that, it's also an incredibly powerful program for personal growth. Remove the barriers to self-knowledge and reveal your full potential with this step-by-step approach... Daring to be Yourself
Our Blog features excerpts from the book plus current news, views and links.
"I realize many people use praise in ways that sound frivolous...but I must tell you that your book has changed my life AND I mean that in all ways. I found the entire work wonderfully upbeat, readable and valuable! It really was quite a wakeup call. In the midst of my "trials and tribulations" I had failed to be "me." Anyway, this "talk with you" really did change my life. Thank you! I needed this kind of "kick in the pants." It worked. WOW! You made a huge difference in my world."–Becky, USA
Daring to be Yourself is included with purchase of the Start a New Life! home-study course, which is effectively the practical "workbook" that accompanies the paperback!
Working through this course enables you to dare to be yourself and design a brand new life. Expressing your true needs, wants and feelings, you can start to live your life's purpose!
After you have purchased the course, Peter Shepherd is available whenever you wish by email, to guide you every step of the way from where you are now, until you are established in a brand new life - the life that you have designed... Start a New Life!
|
