Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~
Inspiring Quotes of the Week + Bonuses!

Turning Unproductive Behaviors into Productive Interventions

By Martha Lasley, Virginia Kellogg,
Richard Michaels & Sharon Brown

Coaching for Transformation
Share on Facebook

Approval and disapproval: Instead of sharing your evaluation, reflect what matters.

Comparing yourself: Instead of thinking about who is smarter or how your experience is different, or what you would have done, stay focused on the uniqueness of your client’s experience.

Evaluating or analyzing: Instead of interpreting or psychoanalyzing, reflect the content or the emotions and needs.

Ignoring nonverbal cues: Listen to the essence of the content, but also name the body language, tone of voice, rate of speech and energetic cues.

Jargon: If you notice you’re using words and phrases that your client wouldn’t use in a casual conversation, that’s a sign you’re using jargon. Use conversational street language as much as possible.

Leading: Instead of reflecting where you think they are going next, reflect where they are right now.

Long-windedness: Simple, short interruptions help people self connect.

Multi-tasking: Instead of cleaning off your desk and trying to listen at the same time, give 100% attention. Show that you care by suspending all other activities.

Pointing out contradictions: When clients contradict something they’ve said earlier, instead of pointing out the discrepancy, reflect the most recent comment and acknowledge their change, progress, new clarity or the appearance of a new voice or part.

Pretending you understand: If you get confused, say so. “I’m not following you. Could you say that another way?”

Suggesting a particular response: “I think you ought to go in there and tell him off ,” doesn’t lead to understanding. Nor is the suggested strategy likely to benefit anyone. Ask, “What do you want to happen?” or “If you were to put consequences aside for a moment, what might you do?”

Understating or overstating: If your client expresses mild annoyance, instead of saying, “You sound really angry,” reflect back the same level of intensity and energy. Likewise, if the speaker is loudly expressing outrage, she won’t feel understood if you quietly reflect, “You sound a little annoyed.” Meet her where she is.
Excerpt from the book Coaching for Transformation: Pathways to Ignite Personal & Social Change by Martha Lasley, Virginia Kellogg, Richard Michaels and Sharon Brown. As faculty at Leadership that Works, they certify coaches who offer personal, organization and community transformation. Check out the free Power of Coaching teleclass.

Coaching is life-changing, world-changing work. The coaching programs at Leadership that Works go beyond theories and models and work with clients on a deeper level. You learn how to coach the whole person: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Whole person Transformation.

Leadership that Works

Transforming the world.
One heart at a time.

More articles from Coaching for Transformation

More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Looking for a better life?

Trans4mind Training - our series of online, interactive video workshops - presents the most effective methods of personal development, combined with support from expert life coaches. The human heart made visible.

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
I think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd