If you could begin your life all over what would you change given the chance to wave a magic wand and start from scratch? No ties, no burdens, no limits, no memories, and no past.
Would that life be much different than the way you live today? Why are you not doing what you want? Is it because you worry about someone else? A spouse, a parent or even your children? I think the ultimate test to see if you are living your life correctly is to close your eyes and think of yourself dying. (Isn't this fun?) Now, look back at your life as you are currently living it. What do you think? Are you satisfied you lived completely? Or do you wish you had done differently? Here is a clue. Very few, if any, of our senior citizens look back on their life and say, "I sure wish I had spent more time at the office!" I do not think anyone says, "I wish I had watched more TV!"
People say: "I wish I had been bolder. I wish I had given more to others. I wish I had tried harder to see more, do more and feel more." In other words, people wish that they had lived more. If you don't believe me, go visit a nursing home and ask...
I know I have held back on some dreams and goals because of our two boys. However, as my life progresses and learn, I realize there is no reason to hold back. Just think - if I hold back I am teaching them to hold back. Where does that leave them - and their kids, and theirs?
On the other hand we have not been exactly standing still either. We have done our best to live our dreams. We built a sailboat and lived aboard for 7 years traveling about 15,000 miles. We lived in the snow in Aspen Colorado, and on the beach in Hilton Head South Carolina. We lived on an old brick mill in Long Island, and on the dock in Palm Beach Florida. We have written books and music, acted in the theater, and home-schooled the boys. We have built a horse farm, and businesses! Yet, there is so much more we want to do!
It is a balancing act. We all must have sufficient finances to support a comfortable lifestyle, (although most of us tend to spend way too much on that!) Part of this balancing act is understanding what we are passionate about doing so that work becomes a joy instead of a job. Is this not a major reason of lost dreams and goals? Many people find work, call it a job and make a living at it. But they begrudge every minute of it, going as far as using the job as a reason for playing the martyr. Find something else!
There are many, many teachers of the attraction philosophies of "making a life". With as many opportunities today in every field imaginable, somewhere, something is calling to you.
Another part of the balancing act is to include those around you in frank and open discussions in what it is you want. I find some of my coaching clients have kept their wants and needs bottled up inside them forever! They had already decided for the other person in their lives there was no interest in whatever it was they themselves wanted to do! How absurd! How can we possibly know what someone else wants! Would it not be tragic to spend your life in a big city for 40 years, working at a job you despise because you thought your spouse liked it, even though you wanted to live in the country and be a farmer? Then one day you overhear your spouse tell her best friend all she ever wanted to do was live in the country? 40 years!
Sure this is a bit far fetched but you would be amazed at what I hear! Make an attempt today to start with a brand new page of your life. Create your life story how you want it. If there are others in your life to be involved, have them do the same exercise. Then compare what your notes. If this matches your current life, congratulations! You are one of the few. Now make it better.
If your notes sound like someone completely different, you are most likely living a life of conflict. There is good news. Your life is your life. Nobody can take that away from you. You are not a slave. You are free to go, do, and be whoever you wish.
It might not be easy, but it sure might be worth it. There are so many things to be grateful for, and so many things open to us. We owe it to all the ones before us who gave us this opportunity to take advantage of it. Today.
Miami Phillips shares his experience coaching and consulting small business owners and executives on his website at: Miami Phillips.com.
