Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking to find your true spiritual path?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

The Fear of Being Duped - by Dr. Margaret Paul

By Sri Satyabrata Paul

Is being duped something you avoid at all costs, or are you willing to be duped in order to keep your heart open?

No one likes being duped. It feels awful to realize that someone has pulled the wool over our eyes – that we were so naïve we didn't see that we were being duped, lied to or taken advantage of.

However, since this painful experience happens to most of us at one time or another, we each have a choice – will we make protecting ourselves from being duped our highest priority, or will we make being open and loving more important than whether or not we get duped?

I have found in my work with clients that the fear of being duped or taken advantage of is often in the way of being loving to themselves and others. They are so afraid of being taken advantage of that they close their heart, keeping their walls up to protect themselves from the possibility of being duped.

There is a paradox here. I find that I'm much more attuned to whether someone is open and honest, or conniving and lying, when my own heart is open to my feelings and to my spiritual Guidance. When someone is being dishonest, narcissistic, or a user, it is far easier for me to detect it when my heart is fully open, than when I have walls up.

My clients who believe that their walls protect them are kidding themselves. Which means that they get duped far more often than I do! It's this fear that often keeps people from opening to learning with their Higher Power. "What if nothing is there? What if I'm making it all up? What if it's just a fantasy that people rely on as a crutch because they can't face reality?"

I often wonder, when people say things like this, why they believe that what they make up in their minds – the story they are telling themselves that is causing this fear and mistrust - has more validity than does a spiritual Source of love and truth. And how are they going to know whether or not there really is something there unless they open to learning, follow what they are hearing, and see what happens?

The only way I discovered that my spiritual Guidance is really there was to take the risk of opening to learning - doing what my I thought my Guidance was telling me was in my highest good - and then seeing what happened. I tested and tested until finally I felt 100% certain that 'something' was really there. But in order to take this risk, I had to be willing to be duped, to be wrong.

So here is the issue. What are you telling yourself that makes it so awful to be duped? Are you telling yourself that if you get duped you are stupid to have let it happen? You can keep your heart open to others and to Spirit only if you make it okay to be duped, to be lied to, to be taken advantage of.

For me, it's more important to be open and loving than to be concerned with whether or not I get duped. I just don't see it as such a big deal. Instead, I see it as the other person's issue. If someone manages to dupe me or take advantage of me, in my view it's their karma. They are the ones who have to live with themselves. They are the ones who are in bad faith with their own soul. If I close my heart, to avoid being duped or taken advantage of, then I will be in bad faith with my soul, since the soul in all of us is here to love, and to share our love. I would far rather be on my soul's journey than spend my time protecting myself against others who are out of alignment with their soul's journey.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a bestselling author of eight books, a relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® http://www.innerbonding.comprocess -- featured on "The Oprah Show," and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a free Inner Bonding course and visit our website for more articles and help.

More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Looking to find your true spiritual path?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd