Three important questions to ask yourself before you read this lesson:
- When painful experiences come your way do you wonder why you may have creaed such an experience. Feeling not only traumatized by the experience but now even more worried about why and how you created this?
- Does the thought that you create your entire reality feel like pressure?
- Does the thought that you are powerless to make changes you hope for bring pain?
The following lesson directly addresses these important life questions. I do hope that you gain much from these insights and questions...
Let's get real about reality.
Simon believes that his life is beyond his control. Simon believes that he has no say about much of what happens to him in life because he doesn't think that he can create his reality. He believes that his future is determined by forces more powerful than his own. He feels powerless and goes with the flow of his life. When painful experiences come his way, Simon thinks that he is being punished. Simon says (excuse the pun) that something outside of himself determines the bulk of the consequences and experiences of his life.
Kate believes that every thought that passes through her mind magnetically attracts events into her life. She believes that her thoughts shape her life. She believes that she determines everything that happens to her, she believes that she creates her entire reality. Kate feels empowered by this idea until painful experiences come her way. She tries to determine why bad things happen to her despite her positive thinking, affirmations and the fact that she is basically a good person.
Who is right? Kate or Simon? Do you create your entire reality? Or is your reality beyond your control? Are you the master of your destiny or the pawn in a fated life?
Kate's world. Out of fear that our lives are fated and beyond our power, some run to the idea that we create our realities. Though a more empowered approach, it can leave us racked with guilt, overwhelmed with choice and taking on a too heavy burden of responsibility for the world we find ourselves in. This generalized belief can be summarised into a statement, "I AM BIGGER THAN MY REALITY!". In Kate's world, she is trying to be bigger than her reality. The only reason a person tries to be bigger than something, is if they fear it. Do you see some of yourself here?
Simon's world. Out of an altogether different fear, others resist the frightening concept that our lives and world are shaped by us. They feel small in the face of the responsibility of their lives and the experiences they find themselves in. Like tribal beliefs of old, they turn to the idea that higher powers shape the world, and that as spiritual children we must behave to appease the god's wrath and seek the god's favour. This generalized belief can be summarised into a statement, "I AM SMALLER THAN MY REALITY!" In Simon's world, he feels smaller than his reality. The only reason a person tries to be smaller than something, is if they are afraid of their power. Do you see some of yourself here?
+ BIGGER THAN: When you feel bigger than something, you feel that you control it. You have dominion, you have the power.
- SMALLER THAN: When you feel smaller than something, you feel out of control. You feel submissive and powerless.
These two responses are standard body responses. They are biologically and genetically conditioned survival responses. They are your body's attempt to survive in the jungle of life; first you measure an external threat to decide whether it is bigger or smaller than you. Then you choose which approach is safer, to make yourself smaller than or bigger than the external threat.
Our reality is often perceived as an external threat, one that we feel that we must either try to be bigger than or that we must subjugate ourselves to, as smaller than. Neither of these responses are authentically empowering. They lead to a pendulum swing of trying to gain power and then being hit by life's externals, leaving us feeling powerless and small again.
Neither the "I control my entire reality" or the "I have no say at all in my reality" hold up under heavy scrutiny. If you believe that you do create your entire reality, try unthinking winter and let me know how it goes! There are many aspects to our outer world that are a part of the bigger reality in which we reside. Like winter. Fighting the truth of this only leads to pain and frustration. Trying to deny the planet's innate reality is simply denial. Spiders and snakes exist, criminals exist. White light doesn't stop a lion thinking that you look like lunch. Granted, a person's inner state of being can drastically influence the external world. Your inner state of reality can help you to masterfully navigate this world's tough jungle existence, even getting the lion to not see you as a 'drive through' meal. But you can't undo the lion or his basic nature. If every thought you had did create your reality what kind of trouble would you be in? And how many of us would have won the lottery by now?
Accepting the realities that you cannot change leads to peace.
If you believe that you don't shape your reality, why is it that 12 people can look at the same sunset and have different experiences? Each person's internal reality uniquely filters and influences their experience of the same outer reality. We have demonstratable and true power over our internal reality, which means that we can influence our experience of our outer reality also.
Like most things in life the answer is neither the one extreme or the other, it is the middle. Not bigger than, smaller than, but EQUAL TO! Not denying or exaggerating, just finding the balance and finding the truth.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
--Reinhold Niebuhr (American theologian, 1892-1971)
So let's get real about reality...
NO POWER: There are certain things that you simply do not have the power to change. For example: your past, your blood family, your genetics, your birth gender, planetary and stellar motion, the seasons, your birth, the fact that your life ends in death (unless you are doing an ascension number which is unlikely), the limitations of the 5-senses, the duality and polarity of life's dark and light, your physical existence and physical reality (e.g. gravity) etc. Wishing for any of these things to "not be" or to be different leads to discontent and the suffering of feeling powerless. Acceptance of these no-go areas as being real and having an existence, brings peace. Through peace you find power again.
COLLECTIVE POWER: There are certain things that you can influence indirectly but still can't fundamentally change yourself - example other people (they must still buy it, they must agree and allow). This is where you can influence but need the collective power of others; change here is slow and needs collective buy-in. Other examples here are the economy, political, cultural and social environments. The most powerful positive change agents in these arenas are the ones that lead by shining example, not the ones that make war with what they have personal agendas with. Here is it leadership that does not CAUSE change to the external world, but inspires it! If you want to see change at this level, you be the change. Also remember that people need a bridge to walk over, if you have no respect for the past, or the way things are, you cannot bridge others to a new way. So still a level of truly peaceful acceptance and understanding of the way things exist is needed. Ironically we can make the most change to that which we make peace with. Inspired change lasts, where forced change may work temporarily but its destructive wake usually whiplashes later to create a stronger version of the very thing it wanted to destroy!!
TOTAL POWER: You have total power over your inner life. Your personality, belief systems, attitudes and emotions are within the realm of your true dominion. It is from here that you can transform your world, literally from the inside out. With your inner perceptions changed you automatically experience reality in a different way. To change what you see, change what you be!
Gravity is real - to deny it doesn't make you lighter. Accepting it leads to peace. Studying it leads to mastery. Mastering gravity means building wings to fly. Mastery is not pretending that gravity is not real or trying to unthink it, it is respecting its place, its true existence and then finding a way to fly.
Finding peace through acceptance and mastery
"We can't change the wind, but we can adjust the sails" --anon
Trying to force change versus finding the power of acceptance
- Fighting the force and direction of the wind causes pain.
- Acceptance of what you cannot change brings peace.
- Identifying what you have the power to change is the path to personal transformation and self-empowerment.
- Knowing the difference between what you do not have the power to change and what you do is Wisdom.
Some forms of non-acceptance look like anger and INTOLERANCE, others look like HELPING! Be aware when the need to help is driven by a lack of acceptance and therefore a lack of love and being equal to. It reveals your arrogance and inability to accept, it reveals your belief that you think you know better. Souls are equal to - accepting ironically creates the most power to change things. People who have found the peace of accepting others and things the way they are bring maximum change, but through internal power, being true to themselves and aligning their actions with their BEING.
Trying to change externals from a place of pain, fear or judgment creates pain and is not effective. Accepting the way externals are and working on internal change firstly brings peace. And secondly ironically through acceptance, you potentially also become a powerful agent for inspired change, change brought literally through the presence of who you are and the change you represent by your true being.
What is acceptance?
ACCEPTANCE: Acceptance is LOVE and INTERNAL POWER and it feels EQUAL TO. It is SOUL based.
judgment: judgment is FEAR and attempts at CONTROL (because it feels smaller than), which is trying to gain EXTERNAL POWER and EGO orientated (trying to get to a bigger than position or giving up in a smaller than mode). It is BODY based.
DISCERNMENT: Discernment is CHOOSING what resonates with your truth, then creating boundaries and expressing your boundaries - i.e. saying yes or no, opening or closing doors to more or less of what you choose.
Remember that ANYTHING or ANYONE that you cannot ACCEPT MANAGES YOU!!! Acceptance frees you from the hooks of the external world, gives you back your power and makes you a free agent.
Your reality is your truth.
Another word for reality is truth. Find your truth. Set it free. Equal yourself to the truth of a world that is truly tough. Know that it is not tough because you are less than, or needing teaching, it's not tough because you are being taught a lesson, like a little child in school. It is tough because it's just tough. It is a jungle. You didn't do anything wrong if a snake or spider showed up!
Help yourself get equal to this tough physical earth experience and then you actually have a shot at changing it. By accepting your ultimate death you free yourself to truly live.
Your earth reality, same as my earth reality, is filled with mountains. Huge challenges and obstacles. Your soul agreed to meet that mountain, so that you could meet the version of you that is equal to it. Your true self freed, is equal to anything earth life has to throw at you.
When the mountains of your life reality come to greet you, it's not to make you small, it's to remind you to dig inside of yourself. To find the part of you that is equal to the mountain and then to rise to the full stature of your being.
Copyright © Colleen-Joy Page 2006
From the office of Colleen-Joy Page, The Academy of Metaphysics. Colleen specializes in training others in powerful tools like intuition and dream work. To find out about her InnerLifeSkills interactive CD and workbook home study course, visit Inner Life Skills.
