“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”
– Mother Theresa
If you’re one of many people that fear being alone, you can take comfort in knowing you’re not alone in your thoughts. A fear of loneliness, or a fear of being alone, has quite a few names in the psychological community: Autophobia, Isolaphobia, and Monophobia. No matter what name you call it by, almost 1 in 3 Americans have this exact fear.
Loneliness leads to a void that most people don’t know how to deal with. It’s easy to handle being around other people, whether you’re in love or just friends. There’s a natural ebb and flow that happens. When you’re alone, what do you do with yourself? Who will you share things with? What is being shared with you? All valid questions, and questions that have come up with before.
If you’re a creative person, chances are high that you’re lonely. The good news is that because this is so pervasive, there’s a lot of information out there that can help deal with this particular fear. We’re going to list a few resources to help you out. You may not be any less lonely, but you’ll certainly have less fear of it.
Chances are you’ve poked around online looking for some answers. Just a quick tip about doing researches online, make sure you following that guide to make them as effective as possible. There’s a lot of information out there, and trying to find the info you’re looking for can be overwhelming. When conquering your fear, it’s easy to become discouraged by not finding what you need. If you are searching online, use those tips to grab what you need for your mental health. Here are a few other resources to get you started...
“Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I'm most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me.”
– Anne Hathaway
Overcoming Loneliness in Everyday Life - by Jacqueline, Schwartz & Webster
This book doesn’t so much deal with the fear itself, it deals with being lonely and how to overcome it. However, most people have found it helpful to understand loneliness, and that has helped with fearing it. The book is written by three psychotherapists that offer a little bit of a perspective on loneliness. They talk about how it creeps in, and how to deal with it. They tackle it from a variety of perspectives – like from the perspective of a single parent, from the perspective of parents without children, and from the person that is just alone in general.
You’ve probably read about lonely people planning future weddings on Pinterest, but this book points out it doesn’t have to end that way. You can be planning your actual wedding if you follow the “shared activities” method described in this book. Definitely worth a read.
Overcoming Loneliness: Alive and Free - by Adam Paige
Adam Paige authors this book about overcoming loneliness, which can lead you to a life of freedom that you’ll truly enjoy. This book really helps you define the various types of loneliness that exist and help you overcome your fear by not only understanding them, but embracing them. This book is relatively short (and cheap) so it doesn’t mince words. It gets straight to the point and delivers on its promise. Given its length, this is a book I’d recommend to everyone – whether you have a fear of loneliness or not. It has great insights that will help everyone live a life without any fear of the unknown.
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook - by Edmund Bourne PhD
The focus of this book is not specifically about fear, but all phobias and anxiety. No matter what your phobia, fear or otherwise, this will teach you how to deal with it. Fear is a form of anxiety, so it probably won’t surprise you that 1 in 3 Americans also suffer from some form of anxiety.
This isn’t just novel that presents some concepts, it’s an actual workbook. Edmund Borne authored this book, now in its 6th edition, because of the valuable tools that he’s observed working effectively for years. It teaches the mind-over-matter techniques of relaxation, positive thinking and lifestyle / nutrition changes that can help eliminate most anxiety and phobias. Well worth the price of admission for anyone suffering the effects of a phobia or anxiety.
“There's a difference between solitude and loneliness.”
– Maggie Smith
Don’t let a fear of loneliness paralyze you. You may not be able to go at it alone, but a few tools in the books above can help you get past this issue. You’re not alone in your fear, and you won’t be alone when you overcome it!