Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~
Inspiring Quotes of the Week + Bonuses!

Resentment vs. Anger

By Carla Valencia

According to the dictionary resentment means: "A feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury." The key word in this definition is persistent; when you feel resentment you keep having fantasies about revenge.

Anger means: "A strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism." So what is the difference between resentment and anger?

  • If you feel resentment you also feel anger. Anger is like a sudden emotion. Is a reaction. If somebody does something bad to you, you react with anger. So if the key word in resentment is persistent, you become resentful when you let that anger persist. This would mean that you are choosing to have this resentment.

  • When you feel anger, because this is a feeling that arises as a self-defense mechanism, you cannot decide not to be angry. You can decide how to manage the situation but you still feel the anger. On the other hand, you decide to be resentful because you keep dwelling in your anger. Being resentful is choosing to keep the anger.

Whenever you choose to keep your anger and become resentful you lose your joy, you close down. You are not going to feel good about yourself, therefore you are contributing to increase your low self esteem.

I have also noticed that when I get trapped in this circle I put myself again in a victim position, because I am keeping my anger to justify that I am right. The other person is the problem, not me.

Do you still like to be the victim? To be a victim is one of the characteristics of low self esteem. If you keep putting yourself in victim situations by not letting go of the anger and resentment, you will not be able to have a healthy self-esteem.

I have found that the best question to ask at this moment is: "Do I want to be right or happy?" Keeping my resentment will not change what happened, and will not change the other person. It will only increase my self-pity.

It is worth thinking about. If somehow you are able to let go of the anger, you will free yourself from resentment and you will be able to build a healthy self esteem.

"Resentment is like taking a poison and waiting for the other person to die." --Malachy McCourt

"Get mad, then get over it." --Colin Powell

Copyright © 2006 Carla Valencia. All rights reserved.
Since she was young, Carla spent a lot of time researching and interviewing close friends and family about self-esteem issues. She has been examining alternative ways of dealing with life on many different levels, studying metaphysics, Buddhism, and participating in several workshops to work inside herself. She's been using several techniques since the last 10 years like Ho'oponopono, EFT, Rebirthing, Shadow Work and Meditation. Carla published her first book when she was 23, "Let's love ourselves as we are." She is the author of the e-book "The Boost: Your Self-Esteem Workbook." Learn more about her work at

More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Looking for a better life?

Trans4mind Training is our series of online, interactive video workshops. We present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with support from expert life coaches.
The human heart made visible.

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
I think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd