One night my friend Emma (not her real name) called me very distraught. She had had an unpleasant argument with her husband, and felt very hurt and dejected. She could feel herself becoming sad and depressed, and her hurt and anger continued to build up within her. "I just want to hit something." She cried in frustration.
All of us, at one time or another, have had experiences similar to Emma's, in which we have a difficult encounter and our anger and frustration remain pent up inside, growing and growing until these emotions threaten to explode out of us in a fit of rage. No one feels pleasant when confronted with a situation such as this. Whether it's an argument with a loved one, the loss of an important document or much loved object, or feelings of self-ridicule and frustration, we just want to put the negativity behind us somehow. Under such circumstances, two things may occur... we can hold our boiling emotions in check, or we can blow up and berate ourselves or someone else. How in the world can we rectify such a situation without going to either negative extreme?
In order to keep our anger, frustration or criticism from overwhelming us or pouring out and affecting someone else as well, we must learn to honor the emotions. By honoring our emotions, I simply mean accepting them, feeling them fully, and then letting them go. For instance, after Emma's unpleasant encounter with her husband, she chose to accept the fact that she was hurt, angry and upset about the event that had occurred between them.
Let me give you an analogy that may help you to understand my point more clearly. Imagine that you're sitting by a crystal blue stream, which is surrounded by large old oak trees. Now, in your mind's eye, watch as a leaf from one of the oaks falls into the laughing stream. Notice the leaf floating there, and then watch as it gently floats away downstream, disappearing from sight.
To honor your emotions is a lot like watching that leaf in the stream. You notice your emotions, become fully aware of them, and then gently and lovingly allow them to float away from you. They aren't bad and you aren't wrong to have them. It's holding on to them that can sometimes prove unhealthy. By honoring your emotional states, you'll be able to put yourself in a much healthier, and often happier state of being.
When you find yourself in a situation where you feel angry or hurt, really allow yourself to feel and work through that emotional roller coaster. Say to yourself, "Okay I'm angry (substitute your own emotional state or states). I accept that. I choose to feel and honor that I'm angry right now. That's okay."
Spend a few moments and really allow yourself to be in your emotional state. Don't analyze or condemn your feelings as bad or wrong. Just experience them consciously for a few moments. Be aware of how you're feeling. Don't worry, I'm certainly not telling you to wallow in self-pity or anything like that. Only do this for a few minutes, or, at the most, a couple of hours.
After really "living there" in your emotions for a little while, ask yourself if you are ready to release them. You may want to ask for help from God, an angel or guide, etc, in order to release this emotional state, in order to move into a state of peace. Ask yourself if you're able to forgive yourself or the other person or people (if others are involved). Through honoring your emotions, you create a space for personal growth, self-awareness and love and forgiveness to enter in.
If you are able to honor your emotions, you will avoid the extremes of either allowing them to be bottled up inside you, or of bursting out and hurting someone else or hurting yourself even further. If your upsetting situation involves another person, as in Emma's case with her husband, I'd encourage you to wait until after you've honored and released your pent up emotions before trying to resolve the situation with the other person. This will keep you from growing even more angry, sad or frustrated when you speak with them. Of course, if your situation does involve another person, it would be ideal if all parties involved could use the "honoring" process before finding a resolution to their conflict. However, sometimes this simply isn't feasible, but even through doing your own "honoring" process, the situation, and your own peace of mind, should be helped considerably.
Through the process of honoring her emotions, Emma was able to later have a rational and productive conversation with her husband. They were able to work everything out smoothly. I hope you'll find this process helpful for you, as well. If you'd like some extra help in learning to become more self-aware and honoring your emotions in good times and difficult times, I'd love to work with you. Please contact me at Kim Loftis.com for more information. Best of luck!
The idea for my new ebook, "Inspiration For Life's Journey," came to me one morning as I sat in prayer. It appeared in my mind fully formed, and brought to my heart an overwhelming sense of joy and delight. I immediately knew that this book would serve as inspiration, comfort and hope to many people. As I set out to create the thoughts, prayers and affirmations found within these pages, I continuously thanked God for giving me the wonderful opportunity to serve as an instrument of love and compassion to others.
In this book you will find a thought, prayer and affirmation to reflect upon and utilize for each week of the year. When studied with commitment and passion, they are guaranteed to bring more peace, joy and abundance into your life. I personally use the weekly thoughts contained in this book to achieve greater balance, tranquility and success in my own life, and can attest to their practicality and power to bring about lasting positive results.
This is not a book that I slapped together in a few hours; rather, the words contained here come from years of personal experience, spiritual reflection and lessons learned. It is my great hope that these insights will transform your life in a powerful and positive way...
Inspiration For Life's Journey
Daring to be Yourself
The aim of the new book, Daring to be Yourself by Peter Shepherd, is to help you achieve a 'wide-awake' state of consciousness, with integrated use of left and right brain abilities, forming the bedrock for breakthroughs in personal consciousness and spiritual insight. The practice is based on the premise that we have learned disabilities that set boundaries to our action and knowing. But no one need accept that they must remain as they were shaped by their hereditary body-mind and by the conditioning of their childhood and culture.
This 264-page eBook is like a "best of" the Trans4mind site, all brought together for your convenience. But much more than that, it's also an incredibly powerful program for personal growth. Remove the barriers to self-knowledge and reveal your full potential with this step-by-step approach... Daring to be Yourself. Also available for Kindle (or the free Kindle Reader application for all platforms) at Amazon.com.
Our Blog features excerpts from the book plus current news, views and links.
More Trans4mind eBooks: Click here to download the Trans4mind eBook Catalog + complimentary eBook!
"I realize many people use praise in ways that sound frivolous...but I must tell you that your book has changed my life AND I mean that in all ways. I found the entire work wonderfully upbeat, readable and valuable! It really was quite a wakeup call. In the midst of my "trials and tribulations" I had failed to be "me." Anyway, this "talk with you" really did change my life. Thank you! I needed this kind of "kick in the pants." It worked. WOW! You made a huge difference in my world."–Becky, USA
A digital copy of Daring to be Yourself is included with purchase of the Start a New Life! home-study course - which is effectively the practical "workbook" that accompanies the book by Peter Shepherd.
Working through this course enables you to dare to be yourself and design a brand new life. Expressing your true needs, wants and feelings, you can start to live your life's purpose!
After you have purchased the course, Peter Shepherd is available whenever you wish by email, to guide you every step of the way from where you are now, until you are established in a brand new life - the life that you have designed... Start a New Life!
|
