Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~
Inspiring Quotes of the Week + Bonuses!

Are You Controlling? (Quiz)

By Deepak Chopra

How much resistance are you in now? Our psychological defenses are extremely good at hiding this from us; by definition, stored-up emotions are the ones we can't feel. However, resistance gives rise to a telltale behavior pattern - control. Having to be in control is a compulsion rooted in fear and threat. Give yourself a point for each statement that applies to you frequently, most of the time, or almost always. Some of the statements do not sound very flattering, but try to be as candid and honest about yourself as you can.

  1. I like to be in control of work situations and am much happier working alone than with others.
  2. When I'm under pressure, the easiest emotion for me to show is anger or irritability.
  3. I rarely tell anyone that I need them.
  4. I tend to harbor old hurts. Rather than telling someone that he hurt me, I would rather fantasize about getting even.
  5. I have quite a few resentments about the way my brothers and sisters relate to me.
  6. The more money I spend on someone, the more that means I love them.
  7. I keep to myself how unfairly others treat me.
  8. If a relationship starts to go bad, I secretly wish I could take back everything I bought for that person.
  9. If it's my house, the people in it should follow my rules.
  10. 1I find it hard to admit being vulnerable. I don't often say "I'm wrong" and mean it.
  11. It's better to nurse my wounds than to show someone that I'm weak.
  12. I'm a better talker than listener.
  13. What I have to say is usually important.
  14. I secretly think others don't take my opinions as seriously as they should.
  15. I have a pretty good sense of what's good for people.
  16. At least once in my life I got caught opening someone else's mail.
  17. People have called me cynical or negative.
  18. I have high standards, which others sometimes mistake for criticism.
  19. I tend to be a perfectionist. It bothers me to let a sloppy job go out.
  20. I feel uncomfortable if someone gets too close to me emotionally.
  21. After a relationship breaks up, I look back and think I was mostly right.
  22. I'm neat and orderly. I like my way of doing things and find it hard to live with someone who is sloppy.
  23. I'm good at scheduling my day and put a high value on punctuality.
  24. I'm good at caring for other people's needs, but then I get disappointed when they don't think as much about mine.
  25. I have a logical explanation for the way I act, even if others can't always accept it.
  26. I don't care that much if other people don't like me.
  27. In my opinion, most people don't usually express their true motives for the way they behave.
  28. I'm not good at handling noisy or rambunctious children.
  29. I still blame my parents for a lot of my problems, but I haven't told them so.
  30. When I get into an argument with my spouse or lover, I can't resist bringing up old grievances.

Next: What you score means

0-10 points
Your personality isn't dominated by an excessive need to be in control. You are likely to be comfortable with your feelings and tolerant of other people. You realize that you are imperfect, therefore you understand the failings of others. It is easy for you to let events take their own course, and surprises don't throw you off balance. You probably place a high value on spontaneity and the expression of emotions.

10-20 points
Being in control is a frequent issue with you. You have more fears and hurt feelings than you let on, but you don't work hard to resolve these feelings. Being in charge isn't necessarily that important to you, but having your way usually is. You consider yourself organized and efficient, yet it isn't a major event if things get a little out of control. You have found someone whom you can be honest and open with, but there are limits to how much you can safely say or do, even with that person.

Over 20 points
You are a controlling person. You feel that control is necessary because people hurt your feelings a lot, and your memory of this goes back into your painful childhood. To keep from being hurt more, you try to control your feelings, which basically means you are very selective about revealing yourself to others. Your overriding need to be in charge or to have things your way drives people away from you, despite the fact that you work very hard to take care of their needs. The only emotion you show easily is anger or irritability. You constantly explain your motives and give reasons for why you are the way you are, but somehow this doesn't help you get you what you want, which is other people's love and affection.

Adapted from Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, by Deepak Chopra, M.D. (Three Rivers Press, 1998).

About the Author: Deepak Chopra, educational director of The Chopra Center For Well Being in La Jolla, California, is a pioneer in helping individuals maximize their ability to achieve success and fulfillment through mind body techniques. A best-selling author and a leading, internationally recognized motivational speaker, Dr. Chopra is expanding the concept of good health and self-knowledge through a blending of Western medicine with the ancient techniques of Ayurvedic health care. The basic tenet of Ayurveda is that one's physical health is the balanced integration of body, mind, and spirit.

More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Looking for a better life?

Trans4mind Training - our series of online, interactive video workshops - presents the most effective methods of personal development, combined with support from expert life coaches. The human heart made visible.

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
I think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd