When Murray and Heather Rand of Canada sold their St. Thomas, Ontario, home and moved permanently aboard their sailboat, lots of people - including their children - thought they were crazy. The fact that they d never sailed before, prior to buying the 16-foot craft that fueled their adventure, didn't bother them a bit. Murray and Heather loved sailing. They decided that sailing mattered most. So after several intensive sailing lessons, they were on their way. They agreed: If it's your dream, go sooner rather than later. Life can change at the drop of a hat, they thought, and life was too precious to be wasting precious time heeding other people's disapproval.
When former software engineer Bonnie Vining was told by her boss to stop smiling so much at work because it was a sign of weakness, she decided that it was definitely time to leave her job and follow her dream. Bonnie wanted to own her own coffee shop, where folks could gather and enjoy each other's company and, without being self-conscious, smile as much as they liked. Like Murray and Heather's family and friends, Bonnie's co-workers thought Bonnie was being too much of a dreamer. But she didn't let the naysayers stop her. Today people can visit Bonnie in Tucson, Arizona, serving up a cup of Joe at her own place, Javalina's Coffee and Friends.
And then there's Japanese national Tamah Nakamura, who reached mid-life with an established position as a tenured university professor. Other people thought the position was just right for Tamah. But there was only one problem: Tamah didn't agree. She soon left the walls of academe to follow her heart. Today, she teaches courses on how dance and music can help people honor and care for their bodies.
Perspective and our work
Throughout our working lives, we get the privilege of hearing what other people think about us. Comments are often focused on our work and how we perform. Usually our performance evaluations are a reflection of the 'What have you done for me lately?' syndrome.
If we are lucky, there may be a brief section on suggestions for development. Be we re hardly encouraged to follow our hearts. Development advice at work is geared toward what the organization needs and wants us to do next for them.
A funny thing happens on the way to mid-life. When we hit mid-life, we often stop caring as much about what others think of us. Instead, many of us start to focus inward so we can ask the difficult but critical question: How do we feel about our selves and our work?
Mid-life demands an honest self-assessment. Who are you? What is most important? What are you most passionate about? These are the questions we start asking. And if we aren't asking these questions, we should be.
The beautiful thing about self-assessment is that if you don't like your own perspective of yourself, you change it. This is not so easily done with how others perceive you.
Musts vs. should-haves
Mid-life is a time to shed the external should-haves (I should stay in my corporate job; I should pursue the next promotion; I should move to a bigger house to convey my status) and focus on the all-important musts for your life (I must do what I enjoy; I must take control of my life direction). So much of this relates to the work we do. A strong self-image is essential to defeat both the external should-haves and, more importantly, to put into motion the musts.
Murray and Heather did this when they sold their house and set sail on a new life adventure. Tamah and Bonnie did this by giving up prestigious jobs to follow their dreams. They all ignored the pressure to do what they should have and instead found the courage to do what they must.
In mid-life, it's your self-perception that counts the most and you ll need a healthy one to create an even greater second half of life. Understand what your musts are, and steel yourself against the onslaught of family, colleagues, and well-meaning friends who will pressure you to follow the should-haves. It's your life, and it's never too late to start living it.
Craig Nathanson, The Vocational Coach, is the author of "P is for Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day," by Book Coach Press. He publishes the free monthly e-zine, "Vocational Passion in Mid-life." Craig believes the world works a little better when we do the work we love. He helps those in mid-life carry this out. Visit his online community at TheVocationalCoach.com where you can sign up for his monthly tele-class, "How to make money and meaning in mid-life," join an action group, or get private coaching.
Daring to be Yourself
The aim of the new book, Daring to be Yourself by Peter Shepherd, is to help you achieve a 'wide-awake' state of consciousness, with integrated use of left and right brain abilities, forming the bedrock for breakthroughs in personal consciousness and spiritual insight. The practice is based on the premise that we have learned disabilities that set boundaries to our action and knowing. But no one need accept that they must remain as they were shaped by their hereditary body-mind and by the conditioning of their childhood and culture.
This 264-page eBook is like a "best of" the Trans4mind site, all brought together for your convenience. But much more than that, it's also an incredibly powerful program for personal growth. Remove the barriers to self-knowledge and reveal your full potential with this step-by-step approach... Daring to be Yourself. Also available for Kindle (or the free Kindle Reader application for all platforms) at Amazon.com.
Our Blog features excerpts from the book plus current news, views and links.
More Trans4mind eBooks: Click here to download the Trans4mind eBook Catalog + complimentary eBook!
"I realize many people use praise in ways that sound frivolous...but I must tell you that your book has changed my life AND I mean that in all ways. I found the entire work wonderfully upbeat, readable and valuable! It really was quite a wakeup call. In the midst of my "trials and tribulations" I had failed to be "me." Anyway, this "talk with you" really did change my life. Thank you! I needed this kind of "kick in the pants." It worked. WOW! You made a huge difference in my world."–Becky, USA
A digital copy of Daring to be Yourself is included with purchase of the Start a New Life! home-study course - which is effectively the practical "workbook" that accompanies the book by Peter Shepherd.
Working through this course enables you to dare to be yourself and design a brand new life. Expressing your true needs, wants and feelings, you can start to live your life's purpose!
After you have purchased the course, Peter Shepherd is available whenever you wish by email, to guide you every step of the way from where you are now, until you are established in a brand new life - the life that you have designed... Start a New Life!
|
