Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

This One Simple Communication Skill
Could Save Your Relationship

By Clinton Power

I attended a week-long silent retreat recently and learned a wonderful mindfulness communication skill that could benefit all couples. What I just love about this technique is the simplicity of the process. Wherever you are in your relationship, whether you’re at the beginning and experiencing romantic love, or perhaps you’ve been together a long time and the intimacy and lust has faded, this simple technique can help you start to connect deeply with yourself and your partner. Here are the steps:

Firstly, sit opposite your partner so you are looking each other directly in the eyes. (It doesn’t have to be done with your partner. You can also use this with a friend, family member or work colleague.)

Maintain eye contact as you speak.

You can both do this at the same time, but choose one person to speak and one person to listen.

The person listening will not respond while the other is speaking. But the listener will continue to track their own thoughts, feelings and sensations as they also pause, relax and open to the other.

  1. Pause
    Stop everything and pause. Just literally tell yourself ‘pause’ in this exact moment. Don’t do or think or say anything else.
  2. Relax
    Relax into your body. Feel yourself letting go and dropping down into yourself. Feel the pleasure of releasing.
  3. Open
    Open your heart to the other. Feel your spine that holds you up and allows you to open to receive. Feel yourself spreading across your chest as you open.
  4. Listen Deeply
    Listen into the depths of your being. Listen to your heart. Be open to listening to your thoughts, feelings and sensations. Be open to all information.
  5. Speak Your Truth
    Now speak your truth. Support your voice in sharing what you heard deep within yourself. Feel the fear and say it anyway. Take a risk. Hold onto yourself as you speak up to be heard.

Once you have said everything you need to say, then change roles and have your partner go through the same process as you listen.

This communication technique is attributed to Gregory Kramer, author of Insight Dialogue: The Interpersonal Path to Freedom. Clinton Power is a relationship counsellor and Gestalt therapist with over a decade of experience helping individuals and couples move out of relationship pain and create great relationships. Get Clinton's free Report: 10 Tips for Moving Out of Relationship Pain, by clicking here.

More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

A great way to support your Trans4mind Training is to use these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Generalized Anxiety Treatment ~ Use hypnosis as a generalized anxiety disorder treatment and you can feel calm today.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
Search on an issue that interests or concerns you...
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd