If you find yourself suddenly single for the holidays, or if you have been single for many years, traditional celebrations are the perfect time to do some successful self improvement. When you end a long term relationship, or he or she ends the relationship for you, there are emotional relationship issues you can address. Your increased awareness of how you relate to yourself and others will enable you to attract a more suitable soul mate in the future.
Look inward into your heart and solar plexus area for answers. You need to fall in love with your emotional self because this precious, child like part of you energetically goes straight to your soul. Focus on building up your self esteem and stop looking outward for answers, approval or love.
If you have been single for a long time, this means you need to look inward and deeper so you can see what issues are keeping you from opening up and trusting a partner. The soul longs for company and this longing needs to come to your conscious mind, so you can fulfill your soul's purpose in being here. You may not want or need a sexual relationship, but you do need deep connections with people at the soul level.
Look below to your root and second chakra for answers. You need to stand on your own two feet, learn to trust gravity and connect deeply to Mother Earth. Focus on improving your ability to take care of yourself in the physical world and in emotional relationships with others.
You can transform the old, conditioned responses you learned from your family by becoming more aware of emotional energy. For example, when you learn the difference in energy between "feeling sorry" for yourself and feeling the real hurt inside of your heart, you have the information you need to move forward. Feeling sorry for yourself goes in circles and into the "pity pit", not a place with love and light.
On the other hand, feeling your real hurt opens your heart and solar plexus, so more love and energy can move in and out of your body and energy field. This difference is huge and you can learn to notice the difference in yourself. For more information about the different energies and how to navigate though your emotional territory, order the self study guide, "A Natural Process for Opening the Heart."
When you look inward for your strengths and learn to count on yourself, you feel better and can find purpose and meaning to your life.
There are many benefits of being single so use this time to your advantage by focusing on personal growth and engaging in activities which help you feel loved during the holidays. Here are my suggestions to help you not only survive the holidays, but enjoy them.
12 Ways to Survive Being Single During the Holidays
- Send your inner critic out in the cold, stop judging yourself for being single, alone or unhappy, this immediately improves your mood.
- Bless your time alone as a gift, it can help you improve your self esteem for the rest of your life.
- Get to know your own desires and needs, make a list of what you want to do in your life.
- Express your feelings creatively - Hum, Write, Dance, Paint, Dream and Play.
- Enjoy little things about your own company, especially your sense of humor - laugh at yourself and the situation.
- Indulge yourself, do exactly what you want to do when you want to do it.
- Spend time with friends and family members - those who care about you.
- Spend time around people at coffee shops, book stores and talk to people.
- Open your senses and sharpen awareness of your body.
- Listen to harmonious music that makes you feel good.
- Spend time in nature relaxing, walking and breathing.
- Listen to and read self help tapes, CDs, ebooks which teach you to feel good about being yourself.
Copyright © Doris Jeanette, December 2006
Doris Jeanette is a licensed psychologist, a modernsage.com expert and author of "
A Natural Process for Opening the Heart - Your Emotional Guide to Self Esteem," highly praised and used by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD in her later years and available as tapes, CDs or ebook.
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