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As a therapist you are looking to uncover the underlying beliefs that cause the presenting problem, which is causing the client distress, but first you have to release the painful emotion enough so that the client is capable of looking deeper. They need the therapist's help for that.

On our personal development courses the student is normally more emotionally stable, so working independently they can ask directly for beliefs in specific areas and address them. The courses offer special techniques for that, and in The Insight Project there is also the use of GSR biofeedback as an aid to detect subconscious suppressed material and to reinforce intuitive insights.

There may however be experiences or issues in your life that you can't think about without tears or anger, causing unconfrontable fears that severely interrupt what you want to do in life. What can you do to get yourself together and begin working again towards your goals?

The model that I find most effective to help with this is Rational Emotive Therapy, as discovered by Albert Ellis and fully described in Transforming the Mind. Briefly stated, it is about spotting the thoughts that go through your mind when circumstances trigger an unpleasant or self-defeating emotional reaction, resulting in behavior that is not in one's best interest. In other words it is beliefs and considerations that drive emotions and resulting behavior.

These thoughts derive from times when they seemed like the best solution to trying circumstances, and they may be an agreement with a dominant, authoritative or persuasive force, or derive from the conclusion to an episode in your life of success or failure. If the original circumstances were unpleasant and become painful to think about, the accompanying thoughts, decisions and purposes become suppressed too, but continue to operate subconsciously.

When brought to light, it is apparent that the thoughts are affecting current life unnecessarily, as they are usually an over-generalization, an exaggeration, a negativity or an intolerance that is irrational. The therapist asks appropriate questions so that the client can see this for themselves - being careful not to evaluate for the client: it needs to be their own insight to be meaningful and to give positive change. A 'New Life Course' student learns to ask these questions for themselves, to become aware of their thoughts and examine them objectively. And to be conscious of the present moment, and so act (rather than react) as circumstances change.

The route to the beliefs is to recognize the situation or circumstance that triggers unwanted feelings and subsequent behavior, then see what the underlying thoughts are that drive that reaction. Most often these are fleeting and subconscious, since they are associated with painful experiences or because they have long been installed in the mind as seemingly safe solutions to the situations of life and have therefore become taken for granted - 'built in' as part of one's identity. Normally you can't see what you are being.

Finding the underlying thought pattern is therefore crucial to resolving the problem, and when it is seen in the light of an objective view this is a great relief, because the decision - and the beliefs surrounding it - can normally be changed quite readily. It may however mean finding a new solution to the problem that it has been 'solving' in the mind. This may be difficult if the solution is used to make one feel right (or justified if connected with bad actions) and/or to make others wrong defensively or manipulatively. Again the therapist needs to ask appropriate questions to expand the client's view in this area. In personal development the student can ask these questions, having been educated in the principles involved, and being emotionally stable enough to do so.

These principles are common to much of humanistic psychology, and in my approach are also the basis for further transpersonal work. To recap, the way it works is this:

1. The person has a traumatic experience, of pain or loss.
2. As a result of the experience, s/he makes a decision or intention for the future, such as "men are selfish bastards, I can't trust them" that becomes part of their belief system.
3. Because the incident was painful it is suppressed, and the accompanying decision is identified with, but both remain in the mind and continue to have influence.
4. When the incident is restimulated by similar circumstances in the present, the old decision is subconsciously dramatized. The tape replays subconsciously.
5. The decision may have been relevant and appropriate to the original circumstances but it is probably not appropriate now - it is therefore irrational and somewhat stupid, i.e. it may contain an assumption or generalization that causes intolerance or negativity.
6. The current situation is interpreted according to the restimulated beliefs and considerations, and so the person creates unpleasant emotions (sadness, fear, antagonism, anger, etc), which then drive the him or her to behave in an inappropriate and self-defeating way; rather than the appropriate and self-empowering way that a rational and objective interpretation would encourage.

To resolve the cycle of irrationality > misemotion > negative behavior pattern, you can use the technique of Releasing, taught in New Life Course and described in Transforming the Mind.

Releasing helps you to re-experience the painful emotion, to the point that you realize that you actually create the emotion based on your interpretation of events, and that you are not the emotion, i.e. "I create the feeling of being angry" rather than "I am angry". With acceptance of the emotion, so that you can have it or not have it and still be content, then you can let the emotion go.

For the releasing to be permanent you also need to spot the underlying irrational thought, assumption, decision or intention, and how it has been driving your emotions. Now the emotion is cleared it will no longer be dominating your view of the situation and these thoughts will be exposed. Upon examination it becomes clear that you can change your mind about this and see things differently, so will you no longer need to feel upset in similar circumstances and have new freedom to behave in ways more aligned with your goals in life.

We all have a belief system full of ideas imprinted by our culture and upbringing, and as the effect of earlier traumatic experiences, and even influences we are born with. They are here with us all the time in the present and effect our view of things and interpretation of events, so that we are not really free to be ourselves, and to know our true selves and our true goals and purposes in life.

To realize these truths and so recover our full spiritual awareness, The Insight Project is the way to go - an in-depth and effective way "to transcend or go beyond our programming." And Start a New Life! is a preparation for that, teaching important concepts and life skills that help you to understand and take full control over your life. For those who are interested in the psychology and philosophy of this approach, Transforming the Mind is freely available.

Peter Shepherd is the founder and producer of the Trans4mind personal development website. A transformational psychologist by background, Peter supervises The Insight Project, and is author of 'Transforming the Mind' and 'Daring to be Yourself.' He edits and publishes the Trans4mind Newsletter. Get in touch with Peter Shepherd here.

Daring to be Yourself The aim of the new book, Daring to be Yourself by Peter Shepherd, is to help you achieve a 'wide-awake' state of consciousness, with integrated use of left and right brain abilities, forming the bedrock for breakthroughs in personal consciousness and spiritual insight. The practice is based on the premise that we have learned disabilities that set boundaries to our action and knowing. But no one need accept that they must remain as they were shaped by their hereditary body-mind and by the conditioning of their childhood and culture. This 264-page eBook is like a "best of" the Trans4mind site, all brought together for your convenience. But much more than that, it's also an incredibly powerful program for personal growth. Remove the barriers to self-knowledge and reveal your full potential with this step-by-step approach... Daring to be Yourself. Also available for Kindle (or the free Kindle Reader application for all platforms) at Amazon.com. Our Blog features excerpts from the book plus current news, views and links. More Trans4mind eBooks: Click here to download the Trans4mind eBook Catalog + complimentary eBook! "I realize many people use praise in ways that sound frivolous...but I must tell you that your book has changed my life AND I mean that in all ways. I found the entire work wonderfully upbeat, readable and valuable! It really was quite a wakeup call. In the midst of my "trials and tribulations" I had failed to be "me." Anyway, this "talk with you" really did change my life. Thank you! I needed this kind of "kick in the pants." It worked. WOW! You made a huge difference in my world."–Becky, USA A digital copy of Daring to be Yourself is included with purchase of the Start a New Life! home-study course - which is effectively the practical "workbook" that accompanies the book by Peter Shepherd. Working through this course enables you to dare to be yourself and design a brand new life. Expressing your true needs, wants and feelings, you can start to live your life's purpose! After you have purchased the course, Peter Shepherd is available whenever you wish by email, to guide you every step of the way from where you are now, until you are established in a brand new life - the life that you have designed... Start a New Life!