I know the Golden Rule is universal. Some version of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is found in every world religion. And in the long run, what you give out is what you get back in return.

On the other hand, the Golden Rule advocates kindness regardless of how other people are behaving towards you. Does that seem fair to you? What if others are not doing unto you the way they would have you do unto them? Is there a way that we can bend the Golden Rule so it appears to work to our own advantage?

As a matter of fact, there is. My research has uncovered three winning alternatives to the Golden Rule which seem to be in vogue nowadays. Indeed, they seem even more popular than the original version. Let's look at what each of these "Not-So-Golden-Rules" has to offer...

NOT-SO-GOLDEN RULE #1: Do unto others as they are likely to do unto you.
This version of the Golden Rule lets you treat others the way you anticipate they will be treating you. This means if you think others will be cheating you, you can cheat them first. If you expect others to be selfish and take the last piece of cake, you can take it first. If you think others will probably cut you off on the road, this rule lets you cut them off first. Of course, if you expect someone to be treating you kindly, then you can reciprocate. But should you suspect someone's kindness is short-lived, this rule provides ample justification for undoing the good things you have done for that person.

NOT-SO-GOLDEN RULE #2: Do unto others as they have done to you.
This rule provides you with plenty of justification for giving back what has been dished out to you. Why be respectful to someone who has treated you disrespectfully? Why be nice to someone who is not nice? Why be honest to someone who is dishonest? This rule lets you get even, without having to waste any time being generous and thoughtful to someone who is not going to treat you the same way. After all, why bother to be kind if you know your kindness is not going to be reciprocated?

NOT-SO-GOLDEN RULE #3: Do unto others before they do unto you.
This rule gives you the power to beat others at their own game. It enables you to second guess others' actions so you can cut them off at the pass. The benefit here is clear: you can prevent others from taking advantage of you by taking advantage of them instead. When you do unto them before they do unto you, you win. And what could be better than that?

Copyright © 2006 Eve Delunas, Ph.D.
Eve Delunas, Ph.D., psychotherapist, author, speaker, trainer, offers proven strategies to help you rise above your limitations and soar. "Breaking the Spell of the Past" is a book and guided visualization CD set. Download a free guided meditation to relieve stress and feel more peaceful. Take a free quiz to find out if you are spellbound by your past. Sign up for a free monthly ezine called "Awakenings: Resources for Enlightenment." All at Inner Vision Resources.com.

Daring to be Yourself The aim of this book is to help you achieve a 'wide-awake' state of consciousness, with integrated use of left and right brain abilities, forming the bedrock for breakthroughs in personal consciousness and spiritual insight. The practice is based on the premise that we have learned disabilities which set boundaries to our action and knowing. But no one need accept that they must remain as they were shaped by their hereditary body-mind and by the conditioning of their childhood and culture. This 264-page paperback book is like a "best of" the trans4mind site - that you can read snuggled up on the sofa, away from the computer! But much more than that, it's also an incredibly powerful program for personal growth. Remove the barriers to self-knowledge and reveal your full potential with this step-by-step approach. Our Blog features excerpts from the book plus current news, views and links. "I realize many people use praise in ways that sound frivolous...but I must tell you that your book has changed my life AND I mean that in all ways. I found the entire work wonderfully upbeat, readable and valuable! It really was quite a wakeup call. In the midst of my "trials and tribulations" I had failed to be "me." Anyway, this "talk with you" really did change my life. Thank you! I needed this kind of "kick in the pants." It worked. WOW! You made a huge difference in my world."–Becky, USA