Daring to be Yourself

My recent article The Wheel of Life discussed the “high end” of personal growth - the transpersonal realm where a developed personality merges into the “higher self” of unbounded consciousness. This is a world of integration. The tools that The Insight Project provides are some of the best available for becoming aware of this spiritual dimension in your life and opening up your life to a whole new degree of potential.

I also emphasized in that article that although we have this spiritual dimension, that we may be aware of to a greater or lesser extent, nevertheless the foundation of our lives is the body-mind experience… we feel and express ourselves in the very solid, physical dimension of our life on Earth. This is a world of separation. Each of us is a unique player in the game of life and as a result of our experience, we learn: both positive learning (helpful skills, insightful knowledge) and negative learning (developing fears and limiting beliefs, for example). A few years on this planet and we can get into a right stew! I know I did. My attempt to sort out my personal life involved psychotherapy and I naturally wanted to pay back the help I received by helping others similarly: I became a psychotherapist.

It became apparent to me, however, that psychotherapy was focused too much on undoing the negative learning; there was an imbalance. We also need to make headway with our positive learning or we remain dependent on further therapy to continually dig us out of the next hole. We need tools for positive learning - indeed, simply having and using such tools makes the psychotherapy work largely unnecessary, except as a rescue stage for those new to personal growth.

It was this realization that first interested me in the personal development field. Following some years of experimentation and discovery, I became well grounded in “positive psychology” and had great results, both for myself and others I coached. This included mind development, taught by my mentor at that time, Gregory Mitchell. I developed further tools to fill gaps I perceived in the brilliant heritage that positive psychologists such as Alfred Adler, Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers, Eric Fromm and many others have left us. And I decided to devote my career to this direction - the Trans4mind website was born at this juncture, to share what I had learned… again, my “payback.”

The Character Strengths and Virtues handbook by the Values in Action Institute, represents an attempt on the part of the research community to identify and classify the positive psychological traits of human beings. This manual identifies six universal values that lead to increased happiness when practiced…

1. Wisdom and Knowledge: creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective
2. Courage: bravery, persistence, integrity, vitality
3. Humanity: love, kindness, social intelligence
4. Justice: citizenship, fairness, leadership
5. Temperance: forgiveness and mercy, humility, prudence, self control
6. Transcendence: appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality

These qualities are innate potentials in each of us and are developed naturally as the result of positive learning. Practical applications of positive psychology therefore help individuals to identify their strengths and further develop these virtues, to build and broaden their lives.

The way out is the way through - it’s not by denial or avoidance, it’s by acceptance and responsibility. The power of love, in other words, replacing fear. This is the way forward. But for most of us, we can use some support and guidance, to get our head above water and start to swim ahead - then we can approach dry land, walk, run and eventually learn to fly. The latter - ascending in the spiritual dimension - seems the trickiest bit, but actually it’s a continuation of the same path: that of ever-increasing mindfulness and integrative love.

The “foundation” course that Trans4mind provides, to help a person overcome their negative learning, to get on “dry land” and start to develop in a positive, empowering way, is the Start a New Life! home study course. The course comes with personal support from myself. It is firmly based in positive psychology and aims to uncover and nurture one’s innate qualities, and to make normal life much more fulfilling. The course aims to give you a real good start on the wonderful path of personal growth.

Start a New Life! is entirely a practical course and it works very well as the “Workbook” to accompany my paperback book, Daring to be Yourself, that was published in 2007. So now I give a copy of this book to new students of the course. The course and book complement each other: they have the same theoretical base and they are both intended to give you the motivation and courage to get “out of the rut” and start what is, in effect, a new life - a new you… the real you this time!

I’ve written quite a substantial new article, called The Wheel of Life, about the nature of Gnosis, our mysterious inner knowing. This has always been recognized by mystics and mystery schools but those who would rather we didn’t think but simply accept the version of things that we are told, have done their best to suppress the individual path of Gnosis for millennia. The article is directly influenced by the books of Timothy Freke and Peter Kingsley, who both have done wonderful work in validating the gnostic roots of ancient philosophers and pagan religions. Of course, my work with The Insight Project follows in the same Gnostic tradition: techniques to aid the individual in exposing inner truth, regardless of conventions of authority and dogma, and regardless of all that one has previously been taught and believed.

The article addresses an issue that most New Age writers, especially those promoting the “law of attraction,” don’t seem to understand: we may in essence be all One but we are also each and every one of us unique individuals on the earthly plane. And continue to be individuals in the middle - such as our Higher Self - as there are any levels of being in between humanity and Source. Each of us is a player in the game of life, and games by nature require opponents, opposites, competition, unknowns, time, goals, action, effort… all these kind of “unspiritual” things.

We have a personal involvement in the game of life, which is essential to our process of learning from experience and to achieving the purpose we are living here for. We are at cause to the degree we take responsibility and act on our intentions with integrity: in accordance with our beliefs and values. At the same time, our spiritual essence is doing its thing, waving it’s wand, à la Harry Potter. Attraction is happening, though calling it a law is misleading: there are no laws in the spiritual realm, there is only will (but intent is rarely pure). Taken together, we should embrace both our humanity and oneness in spirit.

Hope you enjoy the article!

Trans4mind (which is how we refer to the site now) has undergone a further major upgrade with changes too numerous to remember. Best you check it out. The aim has been clarity and simplicity, especially on the home page and also in the site navigation. The feedback we had was on the contrary: some people found access to our resources confusing and overwhelming, so we’ve done everything we could to address these issues. At the same time, Heart to Heart - and the 30 odd life challenges we’ve identified - is now 100% integrated into the site, as you’ll see.

I’m always looking for new quality free ebooks, videos and so on to add to the Trans4mind resources, and to get leads on exciting new thinkers in this field. Two new sites that have been very helpful in this regard are…

1. Free Personal Development Material
   A regularly updated listing by Lyman Reed of free personal development, self-help, spiritual, and business development related ebooks, audios, videos, and courses. He kindly featured Trans4mind’s ebooks the other day. Of course they’re just the tip of the iceberg of what we offer.
2. Steve Olson
   A blog “for people pursuing freedom.” Steve journals his discoveries and experiences on his personal path. He questions everything, which is what this game is about, and he comes to very intelligent conclusions. Definitely worth sticking on your RSS feed list, along with Lyman’s.

Wallace Huey and I worked non-stop when here was over here at Nevers - except for the odd soirée or five - and since then he has enjoyed a holiday with his family in Belfast. So no Heart to Heart Coaching Q&A this week after all - back to normal next week.

We hope you like the new magazine name: Cultivate Life! This was brought on by the market research Wallace has been doing, to try and make the site more accessible and easier to use. In the opinion of a number of interviewees, the organization of the site was not apparent and the language used was hard to understand. For example, most could not define “metamorphosis” or see it’s relevance to personal development. So we move on… “Cultivate Life!” connects with its byline, “Your free weekly toolkit - for planting seeds of success, abundance, love and joy.”

We found many people thought of Tools for Transformation as “Trans4mind,” the domain name since 1998. So we’ll stick to that. Please check out the home page of Trans4mind… you’ll see it has a new look and is much simpler and quick to load.

The menus are now based on your needs - in alignment with the life challenges we have discovered to be most common from the Heart to Heart Coaching service - rather than just listing dozens of information titles. The whole site is built on that foundation, and if you click on one of the life challenges in the top menus, you’ll see that an “entry page” turns up, with all the Free resources (with blue links) and Professional resources (with red links) related to that life challenge clearly differentiated.

It was not clear to many people before whether products were free or requiring payment - and some did not even realize that we at Trans4mind offer a range of our own courses and products, that include unlimited email support. I think the new set-up solves those issues and makes everything much clearer. I’m pretty sure you will find the new Trans4mind site, which is now organized around the Heart to Heart life challenges, a pretty amazing set of resources for you to look into.

Unfortunately we’ve had to axe the Forum - it was being ruined by spammers, and the need therefore to register (and the complicated manner of doing so) created an insurmountable barrier for many potential posters. Now you can simply email your experience and advice instead, directly from the link given in this magazine or at the Question & Answer page online, and your comments will be posted online. Look out for that facility in the Heart to Heart Coaching, returning in the next issue of Cultivate Life!

If you took the trouble to post on the old forum, your efforts won’t be wasted… as soon as possible your entries will be reposted on the corresponding Q&A web pages.

New partners
My wife Nicole has just ended her employment as the director of the local leisure center for children here in Nevers, France. She wishes now to focus on the French version of Trans4mind and enjoy the freedom of being self-employed. Wallace Huey, who has contributed immensely to the current state of the Trans4mind site, is now working full-time as co-developer of the English site. So the Trans4mind team now is three business partners: Wallace, Nicole and myself. After 10 years on my own this is a great relief for me, and I can’t imagine better people to be in partnership with. We have a new page online about us.

En français
Over the coming months, Nicole will be putting up French versions of many of the existing Trans4mind materials as well as starting a new monthly magazine. Nicole would be most obliged if one or more of you good readers would be able to assist with the translations - we can’t afford a financial exchange but your payment would be the tremendous good you would be doing by helping to introduce these materials to the French-speaking public world-wide. Nicole will also welcome your article submissions in French. If you would like to help, please email Nicole.

The Trans4mind Ideas Competition
We received just three suggestions, and the prize-winners will receive a DVD of their choosing from Reality Films.

1. Antonella Celi suggested we look into the Vbook format for presenting the magazine. This is idea for multi-media presentations, including audio and video, pdf content and so on, and certainly stimulates ideas we could incorporate in the future. But not now. Still, delighted to receive the idea!

2. Dhara asks if we can have a section for Children - kids and teens - where they can post articles related to their upbringing, and cultivating proper a attitude towards life, its stages, the tests they will undergo and life’s varied experiences. Definitely something to think about and work on - if it rings a bell for you, please do submit materials along these lines.

3. Antonietta Francini pointed out the need that many Elders have for support… to motivate them to keep going, to share their wisdom and so on. The aged can feel left out of society or somehow useless, but in my experience, often the Elders have reached a stage of acceptance that enables them to learn deep lessons from their life - it would indeed be great if this wisdom could be shared for all generations to benefit from, rather as the Native Americans used to do.

   Antonietta suggested a variety of services for seniors, but the one that appeals most to me is something along the lines of Ken Jablonski’s A Letter of Love. As he states: “People worry about material things by leaving ‘wills’ but our hopes, faith and love are left to memories. Why not write a letter or make a video for your loved ones. If everyone just took the time to reflect our world would immediately grow in love and peace.” Again, if this idea rings a bell for you, please do submit your ‘letter of love’ for publication at Trans4mind.

You’ll find on many pages of the site a new Resource Navigator - it’s on the free resources page here for example. This is a panel of links corresponding to the 16 main topics we cover on the site - wellbeing, relationships, education, creativity, etc - making it easy to find the articles, quotes, ebooks, videos, courses and so on that provide appropriate resources for any of the topics. The links go red when visited, so it’s easy to see where you’ve been and what to choose from next, for a tour around the site or when you’re researching a topic.

To make the Navigator possible, we needed to categorize the Quotes and Videos pages. This has resulted in much more useable sections of the site - before they were a bit overwhelming - and I think the Quotes and Videos sections are really brilliant now! The ebooks and articles are also more accessible with this system, and some obscure parts of the site suddenly make an appearance in the Navigator for all to take advantage of.

Wallace has been recording conversations with friends of his in Ireland, and what a wonderful collection of people he has been talking to! You can listen online to these heart-warming conversations with Andrew McKibbin ~ Finding your life’s purpose; Annne Coffey ~ Healing and helping yourself; Bill O’Loughlin ~ Creating a marriage full of love and understanding; and Mike Costigan ~ What is Love?

The next project that Wallace and I will be producing is a book based on the character of Andrew McKibbin - “The Woodsman.” Wallace is the author; it will be published chapter by chapter online at trans4mind, with an accompanying audio version. Each audio will be about 5 minutes, corresponding to a chapter of the book in which the woodsman receives a visitor, as he lays awaiting death at the end of his life. His message will be about the spiritual wisdom inherent in nature that he has learned in his life and can now pass on. We hope Steve Wyse will be creating the music for the Woodsman recordings. He writes: “It’s funny… for many years I have had a spiritual guide around me who prefers to be called simply ‘The Woodsman.’ How could I possibly turn down this opportunity?”

Thankfully, we have a new online bookshop as the main distributor for my book. You can now buy it here: Daring to be Yourself. Unlike the previous online store, this is run by an enthusiast, Judy Mather, who owns the website ‘The Bookshelf of Oz,’ and she is keeping plenty of stock to provide a fast and efficient service to you, anywhere in the world.

We have developed a new space at trans4mind.com to present the Inspiration for the Soul poems by Wallace Huey: the Meditation Room. It’s a beautiful multi-media experience and we feel sure that you are going to love it.

Each of us (from both sides of the Atlantic thanks to the Net) played a part… Wallace’s poems are profound and insightful; Jessica Coffey reads them brilliantly I feel; the music of Shirley Cason is ideal; and I had some fun putting it all together in iMovie, with panned images from stock libraries (which turned out much, much better than I had imagined) and my own shots. As a sample, here’s the “Expressing yourself creatively” video:

The videos are all included in the Meditation Room of course, as well as available at YouTube, plus you can download hi-res mpeg4 versions, which look better full screen or on a HD TV.

If you like this project, please do spread the word.

In Metamorphosis magazine articles recently there has been quite a lot of use of the word “judgment” that could easily be misinterpreted. The dictionary definition is clear: it’s a rational appraisal, opinion or conclusion and as such a necessary cognitive process. But there is this use of the adjective “judgmental” in particular when referring to a faulty judgment…

of or concerning the use of judgment : judgmental errors.
having or displaying an excessively critical point of view : I don’t like to sound judgmental, but it was a big mistake.

So making a judgment (which can and should be open minded) is easily confused in meaning with a “judgmental” condemnation (which is prejudiced and close minded). We need discernment; we don’t need prejudice and intolerance of another’s differing point of view.

Equally we don’t need to be told by a person who can’t discriminate these two meanings that any conclusion we have reached is “judgmental” and unenlightened. Nor of course, to be told that discriminating between two qualities as different in some way necessarily means we are “discriminating against” one of them in a prejudiced and unfair manner!

And that’s before we start on acceptance (”I agree, yes please”) vs. acceptance (”OK, that’s how it is, no point resisting, pretending it isn’t, worrying about it and all that stuff”). Old agers who are accustomed to one meaning of a word obviously think new agers - who emphasize the other end of the spectrum of that word - are somewhat batty and off the wall. The new age view is that to accept something doesn’t mean that you agree with it, or will do nothing about improving the situation, but that you’re not going to beat yourself up about it or try to twist things away from the truth: what is. Love replacing fear, basically.

“Ego” is another frequently misunderstood term. Freud coined the word to mean the individual identity, the “I” of the person, with no differentiation from the spiritual soul. But so often nowadays the meaning of ego is linked too closely with “egotistical,” a compulsive and selfish egoism, whereas that in fact is the result of a weak ego, dominated by fears and ruled by conditioning. A strong and well developed ego is independent, aware and mindful, and outgoing love replaces that introspective fear. So we don’t achieve a more enlightened state by eradicating the ego, instead we do best to care for our personal growth. This is fully explained in the article Ego Autonomy and Overcoming the Superego.

Ah, language. But we do need language, since without it all our thoughts would remain at the concrete, emotional and instinctual level, and abstract concepts that were outside our direct experience would be forever beyond us, as they are for cats and dogs. Concepts like freedom, equality and fraternity. We wouldn’t be able to learn from other people’s experience and ideas, or from history and literature. Language is essential to organize our memories, to think about what is going on in one’s own mind. In contrast to animals, humans can use inner speech to call to mind previous states of awareness; previous thoughts, feelings and actions. So words have value, but we should never be blinkered by too narrow a definition.

It is an essential part of our education to learn to appreciate the nuances and expressive power of words. We need to read and read well - or listen and listen well - to explore ideas, other people’s as well as our own, and to exercise our imaginations as we recreate the literal descriptions and connect the abstract concepts, playing with the pros and cons of any issue. Otherwise our thinking is limited by a map of small size and little resolution, even to the extent that we become that map - we are our beliefs - and self-awareness is only glimpsed rarely. Then we are in trance, easily influenced and manipulated, and not at all mindful of our options and choices; indeed we do not perceive change is possible.

Since at school we often don’t learn to read with full comprehension and insight, and to listen and discuss with open minds, these are skills that are worth developing now in our adulthood, as part of the process of deculturation - breaking free of the bounds of our culture and upbringing - and ongoing self-directed learning that is necessary for personal growth. That is why Tools for Transformation is pleased to offer the Mind Development Courses - they play a valuable role in our forward path.

The range of basic Mind Development courses cover reading, concentration, perception, communication and studying skills. Always the emphasis is on developing a mindful, independent intelligence that is not easily fooled and misled. The courses are available as a Special Package on CD accompanied by the New Life Course and all of the Tools for Transformation 2-CD Set contents, all for $120 including postage worldwide. There’s enough to read and study for a lifetime on these CDs, a whole mind-body-spirit education really!

I’ve just put a great new questionnaire on the site that let’s you coach yourself, and get really clear about your top three goals! While it normally costs $9.95, I’ve been able to negotiate free access. Just take 5 minutes to fill in the questions, and then you’ll get your own customised Goals Report. It’s sent to you in PDF format so you can print it out and put it where you’ll see it! Best of all, it’s free. Get your Free Goals Report for 2008 now.

As you know, Christmas is a religious and also a family festival where, for a few hours, people have the opportunity to forget their anger, their troubles and their resentments.

It is the solstitial time of the winter when the Sun moves farthest from the Earth. Traditionally, people were afraid that it would not return in the following days to provide light and heat. To avert this fate, they lit fires to illuminate the places where they lived. Today, the modern materials and sources of power transform this tradition into illumination of the town centers. Homes sparkle with candles and fir trees are adorned with brilliant objects. It’s the festival of Light.

On a spiritual level this Light is the flame which ignites inside every individual. So we see gestures of generosity, the desire for sharing and helping others, and the wish to come together to give and receive. Whether it’s pagan or religious, the collective festival exists to remind us we are of spiritual origin, to help us not forget it. The idea is to keep life this flame alive, which otherwise tends to decrease with the distractions and stresses of daily life - to keep it always present in our hearts.

It is actually a message of Love which since ancient times is fundamental to our nature and which will never cease, so long as its flame is kept alive.

Another symbolism which is often now forgotten is that of Father Christmas. This ageless man who ‘comes down’ to bring us gifts is the symbol of ‘the ancestor’ who transmits his knowledge in the family circle. He tells myths and legends about the history of humanity, lessons about good and evil, that illustrate the behavior of Man. The ‘gifts’ that he gives to the youngest at the time of Christmas are the experience gained and integrated during the year, intended to help the young people cross over into maturity in the best possible way.

The festival also connects with Janus (January), the god with a double face, one turned towards the past and the other facing the future. We can, during this period, assess the last year, learn from our experience and make new resolutions to change our life for the better.

I wish a happy new year to you all. Remember to kindle your flame of Love, as this will help you to discover your true purposes and realize them.

There is a large group of enthusiastic students of the trans4mind materials that meet each week in Libya, to discuss and learn. I started my New Year Message to these students with the following message:

“I am so happy that you all, a sincere group of seekers after truth, have made so much progress the past year, even in the face of obstacles that your society has presented to your free thought and activities. It’s not just in Libya; this is typical of all human societies, where vested interests suppress new visions.”

I then continued with a passage extracted from my book, ‘Daring to Be Yourself.’ You can read the message here…

The Spiritual Path