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Sample
Strategies: How to Overcome Your Fear of Losing Control
Here is an example of a way
that you can change your internal environment: overcome your fear of
losing control. Like many
anxiety sufferers, you may feel a need to control every aspect of your
life. You may even feel a need to control how others around
you act. You may feel that if you let go of that control, your life
will fall apart. You may even take pride in the fact that you have
complete control over your life. That's
why anxiety can feel so scary. When you're anxious you feel like
you've lost control. Your body and mind go on strike. Your heart
pounds and your palms may sweat. You have negative thoughts, racing
thoughts, or other dead-end thoughts. I
have a secret to tell you. You never had complete
control over your external environment. And you never will. You were
just under the illusion that you had control. As
children, we are vulnerable and helpless. We depended on our parents
for food and shelter, and love. On a subconscious level, some of us
still function the same way. We try to control others in order to
get our needs met, rather than meeting our own needs. What
we've failed to realize is that we're not helpless. We are each
equipped with skills, inner resources, and the ability to thrive on our
own. Here's
what I have found: It doesn't matter that you don't have
complete control over your external environment. Controlling how you
react to life's events is more important than trying to control
life's events. In other words, you determine your happiness by
controlling your internal environment, not your external one.
That's because if you control how you react to life events, you
control your reality. Once
you accept this truth, I think that your fear of losing control will
lessen or even disappear. You will realize that you have the skills and
inner strengths to triumph in any situation. You have control over
how you react, and that's what really matters. For
evidence of this truth, look at people that have undergone extreme
hardships like poverty or physical disease. Some people react to
hardships with despair. Others use it as motivation to succeed and
prosper. Those who react with despair let their external environment run
the show. Those who triumph consciously control their internal
environment (how they react) and use it to improve their lives. Start
focusing on controlling your internal environment. You will grow
powerful in the knowledge that you can handle whatever situation comes
your way. Here
are some activities you can do when you are trying to control everything
around you: 1)
Ask yourself: 'Am I over-focused on controlling my external
environment?' This helps you recognize that you are attempting the
impossible. 2)
Laugh at yourself! Or
make silly faces at yourself in the mirror. Any fun physical reaction
helps to distract your body and mind. It keeps you from taking yourself
too seriously. 3)
Switch your focus from external to internal. Ask: 'What can I
do right now to positively change how I react to this situation,
person, or object?' Take action to improve your internal environment!
You can do this through self-care activities, positive language, fun
activities, affirmations, and more. Here
are a few affirmations that remind you of your power. "I
can handle whatever comes my way. "I
am very capable of meeting my own needs. "I
am a confident, capable adult. "Life
is a wonderful, unpredictable adventure. 4)
If you still find yourself over-focused on your external
environment after these steps, check in with yourself. Assess your
anxiety level and do appropriate anxiety-reducing activities such as
those found in the Conquer Your Anxiety Success Program. 5)
Integrate activities that retrain you to let go. For example, if
you usually keep a clean house, leave a pair of shorts on the ground for
a whole day. 6)
Integrate activities that help you to enjoy spontaneity. For
example, play with your pets. Or spin around in circles for five
minutes. Next page: Make Wellness a Way of Life |
Page 8:
Seven Keys to Overcoming Anxiety